Steve survived the surgery last night. The operatation ended at 1 a.m. It will take a few days before the doctors can call it a success. Jerry (Steve’s long time friend) and I stayed with Patty until a little after one. I am so tired today.
Archive for September, 2008
C.B. over at Mangina Monologues posted a funny video about age appropriate clothing. This post reminded me an eye-opening event in my life.
In 2005 Cindi was interviewing for a project manager position for Christo’s Colorado project. Cindi, K and I decided to go to New York and check out Christo’s Gates in Central Park Gates. The D.C. contingent (R the software executive, his partner H and our friend P) decided to join us. We spent a February morning touring the installation and then had a late lunch. After lunch, Cindi and K decided to keep warm and relax by camping out in a coffeehouse. The D.C. contingent and I decided to go shopping. After Barney’s and Bergdorf’s we found ourselves in the Saks Men’s store. R and I were wandering around the designer boutiques while H and P were shopping for suits. R holds up a Miyake shirt and ask me “Is this shirt too young for me?” I paused for moment and replied “Yes.” I was stunned by the question. I never thought about clothing being too young for me. I was now of a certain age (R and I were 48; H and P were early fifties). I could no longer wear anything that fit me. I had to look for age appropriate clothing. I suddenly felt old. Were Comme des Garcons, Mugler, Agnes B, Rogan and Shanghai Tang no longer age appropriate for me? Most certainly everything in Guess, Diesel and Ambercrombie were too young. I now had to ask myself if the clothing I was buying was suitable for a man of my age. What a shock! I felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on me. I panicked. Did I have a wardrobe that was too young for me? As we continued to browse around the collections I mentally reviewed my wardrobe. I decided that almost everything was age appropriate. There were a few questionable items. From that day on every time I make a clothing purchase I ask myself if I am too old to wear the item. Thankfully, most of my clothes are classics with a little edge. I can pass the age test.
A friend’s mother is 82 years old and lives in a small town in Ohio. His mother has always voted for the democratic presidential candidate. This year she is voting for McCain. Her primary reason for voting for a republican is that she is fearful that “the blacks” will riot if Obama wins the election. I was shocked. How stupid is this? I suspect if Obama wins there will be a lot of parties and celebrations by all supporters, not just blacks. Where in the world does the fear of riots come from? Doesn’t this sound like a republican scare tactic?
Another disturbing conversation took place last Friday evening. I was waiting for a few slices at a local pizzeria and got involved in a conversation with a young woman. She had moved to Denver from Florida a few weeks before the DNC. She is working as a private chef at the Pepsi center. She proceeds to tell me how accepting people in Denver are of androgynous people and that being a lesbian is not an issue like it was in small town Florida for her. That’s not the shocking part. I guessed she was a lesbian by the crewcut, multiple piercing, multiple tattoos and men’s clothing she was wearing. She proceeds to tell me she is fed up with politics after working the DNC and will not even vote this year. I was dumbfounded! How could a woman who experienced discrimination because of her looks and was fired from a job for being a lesbian not want to vote? Why would she not want to express her rage by voting? Wouldn’t she be fearful of McCain winning and then have Roe v. Wade overturned when he replaces retiring Supreme Court justices with conservatives? Wouldn’t she be fearful of never getting equal pay for equal work? Wouldn’t she be fearful of never having equal rights for the GLBT community? I just don’t get it. Perhaps the DNC left her with jaded political feelings and perhaps neither candidate is ideal. But why not express your rage by voting?
Patty called with unfortunate news. Steve has taken a turn for the worse. The swelling is uncontrollable and the pressure is too much for the brain. None of the drugs are reducing the swelling. The doctors have told Patty that if she brings Steve home tomorrow as planned he will die. The only other option is surgery. Steve is now scheduled for surgery tomorrow night. There is no guarantee he will live through the surgery. I am hoping for the best. Patty is still very optimistic. I wish I had the strength that this woman has.
This 7,000 sq ft mediterranean ranch is on the market for 3.5. It’s next door the house with the copper siding. This one is hard to see because of the trees. It’s a 12,000 sq ft three story tudor. This is the smallest of the new house at 4,900 sq ft. It will also have a pool and matching pool house.
Sometimes life sucks. Today is one of those days.
Last night I talked to Patty and got a grim update on Steve. He was moved into the rehab unit on Monday and the physical therapy team has informed Patty that Steve is too weak to help. They recommended moving him into a nursing home. Steve is also starting to hallucinate and is not acting normal. The doctor has ordered another brain scan to see if the tumor is growing. The last three scans showed the tumor shrinking but the brain was swelling as a result of the proton beam radiation. Either the tumor is growing again or the drugs are no longer controlling the swelling. The doctor has offered two options. The first is surgery to remove the necrosis in an effort to reduce the swelling and pressure on the brain. The other is to do nothing and hope the swelling stops on its own. The doctors are not sure if Steve will survive surgery. Patty is bringing Steve home on Monday since the insurance will pay for home health care. She’s hoping he will do better at home with in home care. Patty is completely exhausted and is at the breaking point. The love of her life if in crisis and there is not much she can do to help. She feels helpless and fears she will lose Steve. I feel helpless too.
This morning I got a call from our friend Andy. His son in law, Greg, is battling liver cancer. Greg has undergone several types of treatment at various medical facilities around the country. Greg’s wife, Sarah, is finishing her residence at Harvard Medical School so she access to the best health care information in the country. Yesterday Greg had a scan that showed the cancer has spread to another place on his liver and also to his lungs. Andy called me to get in touch with our neighbors Tom and Sheila. Tom successfully battled liver cancer by having a vaccine developed offshore that was administered in Denver. Tom has been cancer free for five years. Sarah wants find out more about the vaccine so I’m trying to hook them up. Unfortunately, Tom and Sheila are on a road trip. I trying to arrange a conference call so all parties can exchange information.
Then K calls me to let me know he has to extend his business trip for at least another week.
I need some good news!
I’m going to check out an art opening at Shannon’s gallery to try and put myself in a better mood. She’s assembled a Werner Drewes exhibit that should be outstanding. Art always seems to uplift me. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Our fiscal year is coming to a close at work (when the company was spun off from the larger conglomerate an October 1 to September 30 fiscal year was adopted). That means it’s time for rating and ranking. All associates must turn in their accomplishments by October 5th. The associates will then be put on a list from the top performer down to the poorest performer. The list will be in place until mid year rankings are done. A few years ago a peer who was new to our department asked me to review his accomplishments before he sent them to our coach. He hands me sixteen hand-written pages. I was dumbfounded. How could someone learning a new job accomplish so much in a short period of time? Most of the items he listed as accomplishments turned out to be normal day to day duties. Only a few of the items were considered “above and beyond” normal duties. When I explained that the coach expected accomplishments to be activities that set one apart from the pack he was perplexed. When I pointed out that coming to work on time was not considered an accomplishment but rather a normal expectation of employment he grabbed the papers out of my hand and stormed off. He didn’t last very long in our department.
The topic of salary treatment is being discussed at work. The means “raises” for those of you who have not sold your soul to the corporate devil. Our coach has set the expectation that salary increases will be on the low side and will average around 2%. My initial thought was why even bother with the paper work for a measly 2% raise. But then I thought any amount is better than nothing. Last year my team’s compensation was restructured as we were moved off sales compensation and into a flat salary plan plus bonus. Every one got screwed on this action. Only in corporate America can you get a $25,000 raise and make $15,000 less.