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Archive for June, 2009

Office Observations 1

My manager, L, looked like she used a Kitchen Aid mixer to style her hair today. Actually, it had no style. Her hair was pinned up on the side and she held the back up with a banana clip. There were stray pieces of hair hanging down everywhere. It would have look a lot better if she had pulled it back into a simple pony tail.

T, another tester, returned to work after a long weekend. She looked like hell. I couldn’t help wonder if she went on a bender. She was puffy and red all over. Her hair was a mess too but not as bad a L. She had it pinned up with a really awful hair piece attaché to the back that was partially braided.

M, a developer (code writer) has worn the same pair of jeans for seven business days. The only reason I know this is because there is a paint stain on the left leg. I wonder when he will decide the wash these jeans. I hope he’s been changing his underwear.

E, another developer, has not spoken to me since the initial introduction. He stares at the floor when he walks down the hallways. It’s as if he is afraid to make eye contact. He also dresses like a complete slob. He’s part of the group that doesn’t know how to buy a shirt that fits.

Coming soon will be the tale of Mark. He’s treated like a god by the other developers. There’s also a good Chatty Cathy story to tell but I’m too tired to write it. It’s a good one. He goes from hero to crybaby in four hours.

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Chatty Cathy’s Drama

Today Chatty Cathy (CC) arrived in the office and immediately started telling me about the drama he was involved in over the weekend at a neighborhood gathering. CC is an elected city council member for the bedroom community that he lives in. The drama involved the wife of a man who lost the election to CC. The story went on and on and on. I was beginning to wonder if this story would ever end. After about twenty minutes of listening to his monologue, T, another developer told CC to shut up and leave me alone. I almost burst out laughing. T’s comment didn’t seem to bother CC at all. CC finally finished his story and I was able to return to work. Thankfully, the servers were down while I was listening to CC so I was not able to test software. I don’t want my statistics to show I’m not being productive because CC is blabbing at me every chance he gets. About fifteen minutes later CC’s office mate arrived and CC started to story over again. I quietly closed my office door so I would not have to listen to the pointless story again. I thought it was funny that CC didn’t even ask about my weekend. I would have loved to tell him about all the drag queens, butch lesbians and hot shirtless men I saw at Pridefest.

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Traffic Hell

Check out this link. There’s a picture of one of the bottlenecks I drive through twice a day. Actually, I drive through four of the eighteen worst traffic bottlenecks every day. No wonder I’m stressed when I get home.

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And The Award Goes To…

Congratulations to my cousin, J, the writer, producer and director, for her daytime Emmy award nomination. I hope you win!

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Chatty Kathy & Calvin Klein

Conversation with Chatty Cathy yesterday afternoon while waiting for a meeting to start.

CC: I really like that shirt you’re wearing.

Me: Thanks

CC: I like Calvin Klein shirts. They fit me really well.

Me: Have you been to the Calvin Klein store in the Cherry Creek Mall?

CC: No, I get my Calvin Klein shirts at Costco. I’m cheap. I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes.

Doesn’t this sound like a conversation between two gay guys? CC is very straight and married with two kids.

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Playing Games

When Chatty Cathy came in this morning he started telling me about an idea he has for a new website. He talked to me for at least twenty minutes about his new idea. He told me that the people who get in on the ground floor will become rich. He said it could be the next Google. Chatty Cathy told me that he was tired of working for a large corporation and was looking for a way out. Never mind that Google has turned into a large corporation. His new idea could be his path to financial riches. He finally stopped boring me to death with his idea and I returned to testing software. About ten minutes later another developer arrived and Chatty Cathy struck up a conversation with him about his idea. This conversation lasted about thirty minutes. Then it happened again when another developer arrived. I listen to the speech once again. When Chatty Cathy’s office mate arrived it started all over again. I thought I was going to choke the living shit out of him.

Around 10 a.m. developers started coming into Chatty Cathy’s office to congratulate him. I have no idea what is going on. The developers tell me that Chatty Cathy has been promoted to be the manager over their group. His former team mates are now his subordinates. One of the developers asked Chatty Cathy if he wanted the job. Chatty Cathy tells the man that he took the job for the good of the team. He never acknowledged that he wanted the job and spun it into a sacrifice he was making.

I found it rather odd that Chatty Cathy started the morning talking about his web site idea that will get him out of corporate life all the while knowing that he was being promoted. Why be so vocal about an idea that will provide an exit from large corporate life when one is playing the game and accepting a promotion? I guess I should not be surprised. After all they are just a bunch of software geeks. And most software geeks play video games. I guess Chatty Cathy sees corporate life as just another game to play.

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It’s Over

Stephen’s memorial service was a moving and touching ceremony. Patty kept her composure. It was a beautiful celebration for an incredible man. Stephen will be missed but not forgotten. Hopefully, Patty will be able to move on with her life.

I can’t help but feel relieved that it is over. I was apprehensive about going to the service because it had the potential to turn into a huge sobfest. I was surprised at how uplifting the service turned out to be. Not having that final farewell just left things unfinished. Everyone can now start a new chapter of life.

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