Be Thankful You Never Married

I called my parents on Christmas to wish them a happy holiday. I talked with my mother for a while and then she handed the phone off to my sister. I really didn’t want to talk to my sister because I knew she would ramble on and on, which she did. My sister handed the phone off to my father. I could not under stand what he said when he answered the phone because he was chewing on a piece of candy. That’s right; my diabetic father was eating candy. When I cautioned him about eating candy he went into a story about a nurse in the hospital who told him he probably wasn’t diabetic. He’s disregarding all the medical tests and the conclusion of all the other medical professionals and accepting the word of one nurse. He then asked me if I watched the show Hoarders. I confirmed that I have seen the show but didn’t tell him that I thought my parents may be on the show one day. My father told me how much my mother loved the show and how ironic it is because she will not stop buying “things”. My mother continues to hoard food and other household items. He then recounted a recent argument they had over gift wrap. My mother asked my father to get her a roll of wrapping paper from the basement. My father brought her one of the eight unopened rolls of paper from the basement. It turned out she used a role of that particular paper four years ago and was afraid gift recipients would remember the paper. Thus another fight erupted. My father told me that he can’t do anything right and that nothing please my mother. Then my father told me “Be thankful you never married”. I was stunned. The only thing I could say was “That’s why people get divorced”. He countered with something about not being able to afford a divorce. I really don’t remember the rest of the conversation. I know it lasted a few more minutes but I kept hearing the words “be thankful you never married” in my head and everything else was blur. It was like a moment out of movie.

Despite the fact that K and I have been together for seventeen years my father doesn’t see our union as a marriage. I guess we’re not legitimate because we never walked down the aisle with an official pronouncing us man and man. Being “married” to a lawyer has provided me with all the legal documents I need for protection as a spouse in Colorado. I just don’t have equal rights or the tax benefits of being married. Despite owning property together and having joint bank accounts and an extremely large line of credit I’m still not married in my father’s eyes or the government’s. Knowing my father I shouldn’t have been stunned by his comment. But for some reason it hurt. I guess he has no idea what my life is like. It’s a shame but it’s his loss.