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Archive for May, 2010

More Family Drama

My mother is having a CT scan of her lungs today. The doctor’s office called her yesterday to inform her of a suspicious spot on her lungs. She’s been out of the hospital for two weeks. It’s unclear why it took so long to call her. I talked to my mother last night and described my experiences with CT scans. She seemed to be a little relieved. My mother has always been afraid she would lose her life to cancer yet she has smoked for sixty plus years and continues to smoke despite being forced to quite for the twelve days she was in the hospital. I just can’t seem to get away from the family drama.

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I’m emotionally drained from the weekend. I left the house on Friday afternoon at three and got back to the house on Sunday night at ten. It was a good trip overall. I think my mother’s recent health problems scared her. She was nice all weekend. My dad behaved too. He didn’t use the “N” word once. It was my sister that caused all the drama.

Being around my sister was enough to make me realize I never want to see her again. She has turned into a strange woman. It reinforced my opinion that she needs professional psychiatric help.

On Saturday my sister met us for lunch at the Boathouse in Forest Park. It was a cool and rainy day. She arrived around noon after a three and a half hour drive. She was to drop her cat off at the kennel at seven. I was wondering why it took five and half hours to get to St. Louis. Later she told a lame story about not being able to catch the cat. I let it go.

When she arrived I was shocked at her appearance. She has gained a lot of weight and was dressed like a butch lesbian in a pull over sports jersey that zipped up the side, acid washed jean shorts, white socks and running shoes. I didn’t expect her to show up looking like she stepped out of Vogue but she could have worn something a little nicer.

She walked up to us and just started talking. I don’t even remember what she was saying. She looked right at me and made eye contact but she didn’t say hello. I was shocked. I hadn’t seen her in ten years and she didn’t even say hello. I walker over said hello and gave her a hug. I introduced her to K. She said hi to K and went back to telling her story. I wanted to slap the bitch. I’ve been with K for seventeen years and all she could muster was one word. I let it go.

We had a good lunch. My parents seemed to enjoy themselves. During lunch my sister would make statements that were unrelated to the conversation at the table. It was so strange. It was as if she wanted attention. K picked up the tab for lunch. Everyone thanked K but my sister.

Later that evening we hung out at my brother’s house. Again, my sister would make statements that were unrelated to the conversations. She didn’t ask K or me any questions and didn’t seem to be interested in anything going on in our lives. When K tried to engage my sister in conversation she ignored him or changed the subject. She was so rude. My sister would make statements about people we didn’t know. For example, she said,” Bob says the best fried chicken is at KFC.” Who the hell is Bob? Nobody ever heard of him. I asked, “Who is Bob?” She looked at me with anger in her eyes, paused, and then explained he was a former co-worker. She did this all day. At one point she started talking about conversations in chat rooms. She said she was in a chat room on Friday with a ten year old Belgium girl. It was one in the morning in Belgium time. I was horrified. Why was my sister in chat room with a ten year old? I asked what website she was on and she replied, “Just a website”. I then asked what type of chat room and she changed the subject. My sister did this all evening. She would make statement and when I asked for details or clarifications she would change the subject. I found this so strange. Why would she talk about something and then change the subject when I wanted to clarify what she was talking about? Every time this happened she would shoot me a dirty look. She acted like a child in a room full of adults who is starved for attention.

At the end of the evening my sister was really upset when she found out she had to drive my parents home. My brother and sil had picked them up in the morning since my sister was not expected in town until late morning. My sister was staying at my parent’s house but didn’t want to drive them home. She expected one of us to make the two hour roundtrip schlep to get my parents home. After some convincing she drove my parents home.

Sunday was worse. We met at the Delmar Loop shopping area to browse the shops. My mother was telling us how my sister missed a highway exit two times while driving my parents home but finally got it on the third try. I thought it was funny but sister cussed and stormed off. A few minutes later she rejoined the group and acted like nothing happened. Our next stop was the St. Charles historic area. We decided to leave my parents car in a parking lot and my brother and K would drive. My sister refused to ride with my brother because she said he is poor driver despite the fact he has never had a car accident. She was finally convinced to ride with my brother so my parents could spend time with me in the car.

We had a nice lunch at a winery with a menu with plenty of healthy options. I paid for lunch and everyone thanked me except for my sister.

After lunch my sister stated complaining about an upset stomach. I told her I was sorry she was not feeling well. Her upset stomach was caused by the bacon on her chicken sandwich and the greasy homemade potato chips she had for lunch. She informed me that greasy foods upset her stomach. I refrained from asking her why she ordered these items if they were going to upset her stomach when there were many non greasy healthy choices. I bit my tongue because I knew it would cause drama that I wanted to avoid.

In mid afternoon my sister suddenly announced it was going to take her eight hours to drive home. Her comment perplexed me because the conversation at time was not about driving home and I couldn’t understand how a three and a half hour trip was going to take eight hours. I inquired why. Once again she gave me a dirty look before responding. She said she just threw up and would be throwing up all the way home. She then went on the explain that she has mild pancreatitis that was caused by a gall stone the doctor didn’t remove when she had her gall bladder removed six years ago. After a few more questions it was revealed that she passed the gall stone but was still suffering from pancreatitis. Later my sil, who is a nurse, informed me my sister has not seen a doctor since her gall bladder was removed and the gall stone and pancreatitis are self diagnosed. It was just another desperate cry for attention.

I could go on and on but you get the point. My sister is a hypochondriac who has a desperate need for attention. She communicates information about her life that is not pertinent to the ongoing conversation and then gets defense when questions are asked about her statements. She must be a desperate lonely unhappy person. She needs to get professional help. Until she does I never want to be around her again.

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I’m sad, perplexed, confused and angry about the trip to see my parents this weekend. I dressed up today for work to try and put myself in a better mood. I wore my new brown Italian wingtip shoes with leather soles that I got for next to nothing at DSW. When I walk across the granite floors in the building the shoes make a distinct tapping sound that only come from leather soles. I’m trying to concentrate on the beautiful things in life. I think my shoes are beautiful. I find myself looking down at them now and then hoping they will inspire me to find the motivation to get through this day.

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I haven’t even left Denver and my sister is already causing drama. Instead of arriving on Friday night she is driving in on Saturday morning. She probably will not arrive until around noon. My brother and I came up with a new plan for Saturday. My sister will meet us for lunch in the city. I wasn’t surprised when she started bitching about the restaurant or having to drive across the Poplar Street Bridge. Lord give me strength to get through this weekend.

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Hello Sis!

My mother called last night to let me know my sister will be in St. Louis this weekend too. A few weeks ago my mother told me she wasn’t going to tell my sister I was coming to town. Apparently, she had a change of heart. Now I’ll have to deal with my sister who is a major hypochondriac.

I haven’t seen my sister for ten years. The last time I saw her was when my mother was in the hospital for gall bladder surgery. My sister arrived at the hospital and started complaining about all of her ailments. I went off on her. She got mad, stormed out of the hospital room and drove back to Indiana. I think my sister needs professional psychiatric help for a number of reasons.

It looks like it’s going to be a trying weekend. Thankfully, I’ll only be there for two days. I’m going to make every attempt to bite my tongue if my sister starts complaining about her various ailments. I’m hoping for the best.

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Gym Rant #7

It’s been a while since I posted a gym rant. This is for Rox.

For the men of a certain age at the gym who are dying their hair to cover the gray, please look at the back of your head before you leave the house. Several of you are not properly applying the hair color to the back of your head and are leaving a lot of gray showing. Also, rethink your decision to dye your hair black or dark brown. It’s a mistake. Your hair looks dyed. Consider using a lighter shade or go to a color professional to have your hair dyed. Finally, remember that dying your hair is a commitment. You must touch up your roots every few weeks.

If you find a zit on your face while you are admiring your muscles in the mirror on the workout floor please go to the men’s room to pop it. It is gross to pop your zits on the workout floor especially when the puss splatters on the mirror and you don’t wipe it off. You’re being a crude and disgusting fuck.

If you insist on eating a protein bar while you are pinching a loaf in the men’s room, can you please refrain from throwing the protein bar wrapper on the floor and leaving it there? It’s disgusting to eat in the men’s room and you’re a rude fuck fuck for throwing the wrapper on the floor. I’m talking about you, Mr. Ed Hardy t-shirt wearing idiot.

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Kicked To The Curb

I haven’t seen or talked to Patty in many weeks. The last time we had dinner was in March. She had taken a road trip to Tucson in her boyfriend’s new car. Patty talked about the boyfriend most of the evening. Patty and the boyfriend had worked through their problems and were happy together. I was happy for her.

Driving home that night I came to realization that I was the one who initiated all of dinners. Patty only called if I dropped off cookies for her while she was at work. I decided to see how much time would go by before she would call. So far it’s been about seven weeks. I can’t help feeling that I’ve been kicked to the curb. She’s got a new man in her life and judging by our last dinner conversation they spend all of their free time together.

After Stephen died I made sure to check in with her several times a week. I didn’t mind that she usually didn’t call me. She had an estate to settle, attended three different therapy sessions and was trying to set up a charitable foundation. Patty didn’t have a lot of free time. Things are different now. The estate has been settled, she stop going to therapy and the charitable foundation is on hold. And she has a new man in her life.

I’m happy Patty has a new man but I’m sad that she doesn’t take the time to call. I don’t expect to get together weekly but a call now and then would be nice. Both K and I were there for her when she needed emotional support. I can’t help feel that she has moved on. I served my purpose and now her life has taken a new direction that doesn’t include me. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sit on the curb for a while.

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