Archive for May, 2010

I haven’t even left Denver and my sister is already causing drama. Instead of arriving on Friday night she is driving in on Saturday morning. She probably will not arrive until around noon. My brother and I came up with a new plan for Saturday. My sister will meet us for lunch in the city. I wasn’t surprised when she started bitching about the restaurant or having to drive across the Poplar Street Bridge. Lord give me strength to get through this weekend.

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Hello Sis!

My mother called last night to let me know my sister will be in St. Louis this weekend too. A few weeks ago my mother told me she wasn’t going to tell my sister I was coming to town. Apparently, she had a change of heart. Now I’ll have to deal with my sister who is a major hypochondriac.

I haven’t seen my sister for ten years. The last time I saw her was when my mother was in the hospital for gall bladder surgery. My sister arrived at the hospital and started complaining about all of her ailments. I went off on her. She got mad, stormed out of the hospital room and drove back to Indiana. I think my sister needs professional psychiatric help for a number of reasons.

It looks like it’s going to be a trying weekend. Thankfully, I’ll only be there for two days. I’m going to make every attempt to bite my tongue if my sister starts complaining about her various ailments. I’m hoping for the best.

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Gym Rant #7

It’s been a while since I posted a gym rant. This is for Rox.

For the men of a certain age at the gym who are dying their hair to cover the gray, please look at the back of your head before you leave the house. Several of you are not properly applying the hair color to the back of your head and are leaving a lot of gray showing. Also, rethink your decision to dye your hair black or dark brown. It’s a mistake. Your hair looks dyed. Consider using a lighter shade or go to a color professional to have your hair dyed. Finally, remember that dying your hair is a commitment. You must touch up your roots every few weeks.

If you find a zit on your face while you are admiring your muscles in the mirror on the workout floor please go to the men’s room to pop it. It is gross to pop your zits on the workout floor especially when the puss splatters on the mirror and you don’t wipe it off. You’re being a crude and disgusting fuck.

If you insist on eating a protein bar while you are pinching a loaf in the men’s room, can you please refrain from throwing the protein bar wrapper on the floor and leaving it there? It’s disgusting to eat in the men’s room and you’re a rude fuck fuck for throwing the wrapper on the floor. I’m talking about you, Mr. Ed Hardy t-shirt wearing idiot.

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Kicked To The Curb

I haven’t seen or talked to Patty in many weeks. The last time we had dinner was in March. She had taken a road trip to Tucson in her boyfriend’s new car. Patty talked about the boyfriend most of the evening. Patty and the boyfriend had worked through their problems and were happy together. I was happy for her.

Driving home that night I came to realization that I was the one who initiated all of dinners. Patty only called if I dropped off cookies for her while she was at work. I decided to see how much time would go by before she would call. So far it’s been about seven weeks. I can’t help feeling that I’ve been kicked to the curb. She’s got a new man in her life and judging by our last dinner conversation they spend all of their free time together.

After Stephen died I made sure to check in with her several times a week. I didn’t mind that she usually didn’t call me. She had an estate to settle, attended three different therapy sessions and was trying to set up a charitable foundation. Patty didn’t have a lot of free time. Things are different now. The estate has been settled, she stop going to therapy and the charitable foundation is on hold. And she has a new man in her life.

I’m happy Patty has a new man but I’m sad that she doesn’t take the time to call. I don’t expect to get together weekly but a call now and then would be nice. Both K and I were there for her when she needed emotional support. I can’t help feel that she has moved on. I served my purpose and now her life has taken a new direction that doesn’t include me. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sit on the curb for a while.

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Dress Shopping

Last week my mother told me she wanted to buy a new dress. I thought dress shopping would be a fun activity for my mother while I’m in St. Louis. My dad on the other hand will be bored. I thought I would preview the dress selections in the stores in Denver that also have stores in St. Louis.

My mother is eighty-three and has a few requirements concerning a dress. It must be age appropriate and have sleeves, but not three quarter length sleeves. It must have high neck line and preferable a collar. It cannot be red, green or black. She will not wear a bold print. The hem must be at her knee. It other words she wants a very conservative dress.

I went to Cherry Creek Mall to check out the dress selections at Saks, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, Talbots, Ann Taylor, Macy’s, J Jill and Banana Republic. I struck out at every store. It seems it’s the season of the sleeves dress. I only found three dresses with sleeves and none of them fit the requirements. Two of the dresses were at Saks. One was red and had three quarter length sleeves while the other was a Ralph Lauren mostly cream floral dress with cap sleeves. I didn’t think she would like the cap sleeves and then there was the price. It was $495. It was fine with me but my mother would never wear a dress that expensive. The other dress I found at Neiman Marcus but it was black and very pricey.

My pre-shopping expedition made me wonder where eighty-three year old women shop for clothes. Do retailers assume that older women stop buying dresses at a certain age, or, does my mother have too many requirements? I beginning to think the latter is the problem.

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I don’t have a lot of interaction with Chatty Cathy (CC) since he was moved into a private office one aisle away. About two months ago I was leaving the office and CC said he would walk out with me since he was leaving too. As we are walking down the hall to the exit for the east parking garage CC tells me that he has started to dress nicer for work since I started working in the office. He told me that I wear really nice clothes to work and that he has been dressing better since he was given a position of authority. I hadn’t seen any improvement in his dress other than he stopped wearing shorts with white socks and dock shoes on Fridays in the warmer months. I thanked him for his compliment. He then complimented me on my coat and wanted to know what it was made out of. I was wearing K’s black military inspired top coat. I told him it was wool. Then he asked me where I bought it. I told him it came from the Calvin Klein store at the Cherry Creek Mall. CC then tells me he wants to buy a nice coat to wear to work and other business functions but doesn’t know where to get one. Go god, hasn’t CC ever shopped at a mall with a large department store? I advised him that a black, navy or gray wool topcoat would be his best investment that could be worn with a variety of outfits. I told him the Saks outlet store at Colorado Mills had $500 wool topcoats on sale for $199 when I was there on Saturday. He had never heard of Colorado Mills so I told him it was in Denver West and to google it for directions. At this point we had entered the parking garage and went our separate ways.

The next day I gave CC a coupon for 30% off any item at Off Fifth Avenue (the Saks outlet store) that a sales person gave me on Saturday.. A few days later I asked CC if he found a topcoat. CC told me he and Mrs. CC drove to Denver West but couldn’t find the Saks Outlet store. They didn’t know Off Fifth Avenue was the Saks outlet store even though the coupon had Saks and Off Fifth Avenue boldly displayed on each side. They didn’t even bother to go into the mall. I guess some people are retail illiterate. I told him I would be on the lookout for other sales and would keep him informed. I just hope he doesn’t ask me to go with him.

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While I was in Mexico Mike left a voice mail advising that a mutual friend had died in March. Mike found out about Steve’s death from a friend of his. Steve was guy that I met in an HIV support group about ten years ago. We were in group for about two years. When the support group disbanded the members agreed to stay in touch but after a few dinners communication broke down. Most of the group members were like the intersection of several circles. The only thing we had in common was our HIV status. The members came from a variety of social, economic and educational backgrounds.

The members scattered a few months after the group ended. I would occasionally run into Steve at various AIDS fund raisers. Art disappeared. Gary cut off contact with his friends when he went blind. He died about four years ago. Scotty set up house with his oncologist boyfriend and moved out of my neighborhood into a palatial house in Hilltop. Jeff found a body builder boyfriend, bulked up on steroids, bleached his hair blond and moved to Palm Springs. Michael moved to the west coast and hooked up with a porn star turned personal chef. David keeps a quiet life with his husband in Mayfair.

When I learned about Steve’s death I was a little shocked. I saw him about a year ago and he seemed to be doing well. Steve’s obituary said he died of AIDS related complications. I’m curious about the related complications. I don’t know why I am so curious about Steve’s cause of death. I haven’t had a friend die of AIDS related complications in many years. Perhaps it’s because I’m HIV+ and want to know if I need to be on the lookout for symptoms of a complication that will kill me. I know this sounds morbid but after watching many friends die in eighties and nineties I never want to go through that again. When I hear AIDS related complication it makes me freeze and it seems like my heart skips a beat. I begin to wonder if I will have to relive those dark days again. I know I’m being irrational but given my past it’s hard not to be concerned. After a while I bury those feelings and pick up where I left off. I have a wonderful life. I want it to stay that way.

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Up To No Good

Look what I found on the fence Friday afternoon. Looks like next generation of squirrels are out and about the neighborhood. K found a large dead squirrel in the garden when we got back from Cabo. It wasn’t bloody so Ferdinand didn’t kill. Ferdinand left a dead squirrel outside the family room doors last fall so I’m sure he’ll have fun chasing the new kids.

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Hello There

I found this group of tulips down by the pond. They look like they’re trying to say hello. I don’t remember planting the tulips so K must have snuck them in when I wasn’t looking.

It’s Saturday morning and I haven’t gotten cleaned up yet. I’m trying to decide what to do today. I need to do a few yard chores but I’m not feeling it. I may call Mike and see if he wants to have lunch. His partner will be working today so I’m sure he will be bored. Later this afternoon I want to do a cardio workout. But for now I think I’ll watch the food channel. Have a fun Saturday.

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