I’ll Call Tomorrow

My mother still has not made up her mind as to which surgery to have. Its’ been almost a week. She’s leaning toward the shorter less invasive surgery. I don’t know why this is so hard for her. Everyone she has talked to has recommended the less invasive surgery given her age and physical condition. I told my mother she can’t take three weeks to make up her mind because the cancer is aggressive and spreads quickly. She responded by saying she’s not having a good day and would call the doctor tomorrow. I’ve heard that before too many times.

She’s still smoking because she claims the nicotine patch doesn’t work. She’s also latched onto some information she read that says her cancer is caused by smoking in only 80% of the cases. She thinks something else caused the cancer. K pointed out that my mother clearly does not understand statistics.

My mother has told me she doesn’t want me flying there on the weekends. She said it would make her feel worse. I don’t quite understand why she feels that way. But I’ll be happy to stay in Colorado and avoid the drama in St. Louis. This is especially true if my sister is there.

I find the situation very frustrating. I keep thinking of the scene in Moonstruck where Cher slaps Nicolas Cage and yells “Snap out of it”. I wish my mother could find the strength to deal with her cancer head on. I’ve done it. I’m hoping my mother will see that she can too.

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Weekend Update

The dinner party was a lot of funl. It was a great meal (the first course was avocado and cucumber soup with roasted shrimp and chives, the main course was grilled flank steak, roasted potatoes and sautéed broccoli rabe and dessert was watermelon granita with gingered strawberries). Judy brought her son Brock to dinner. Both Helena and Jeff think he’s gay. Helena got trashed became loud and obnoxious. I was really disappointed in her behavior. However she was the only one to call the next day to thank us for the evening.

Sunday was a down day. K and I had lunch at a local barbecue restaurant and then I went to the grocery to pick up a few provisions for the week. I napped for several hours while K worked in the yard. The evening was spent watching True Blood, part of the Emmy Awards and Mad Men. Then it was off to bed.

It’s Monday morning and I’m working from home. It should be a calm work week. I’m waiting for a software load to be delivered so I can start testing. The load is large and complex and I’ll be working on it with my office mate. Hopefully, she’ll be in a good mood when she comes back from vacation tomorrow.

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The Weekend Is Here!

I’m about to shut down the laptop and start the weekend. K and I are going out to dinner tonight and then heading over to Spark and Core to check out some art. Our neighbor, Joyce is having an opening tonight. I love her work but it’s a bit out of my price range.

Tomorrow we’re having Helena, Jeff and Judy over for dinner. We have not entertained a lot this summer since K has been away a lot of the time. It should be fun. Helena is always entertaining after a few shots of tequila.

We have no plans for Sunday. We’ll just have to see what happens. Have a good weekend!

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Updates 8/26/2010

I’m waiting for a software load to be delivered so I thought I’d post a few updates.

Cindi got a permanent restraining order against the ex-boyfriend. Since they both live in the same canyon the judge made sure to explain to the ex how it works if he runs into at the convenience store or gas station. The judge was not pleased with ex’s behavior in court.

Patty put her relationship with her boyfriend on hold. He’s still grieving for his late wife. Patty has moved on and wants to be with this man but he needs to finish the grieving process. She wants to quit Home Depot and find a different job.

The neighborhood architectural review committee held a meeting in the front yard of the house that’s being remodeled on Sheila’s street. The meeting turned into a fiasco with yelling and screaming neighbors. Educated professionals can still act ghetto.

My mother has been approved for surgery. She has a choice of two procedures. One is less than an hour and only removes the cancerous section of the lung. The other procedure is several hours and will remove the entire lobe. Both procedures are followed by chemo. Of course my mother can’t make up her mind which procedure to have.

That’s all for now.

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24 Weeks of Chemo

My mother saw the oncologist on Monday. The doctor told her the cancer was fast growing and aggressive. He also told her it was caused by smoking. He referred her to a surgeon who she is seeing today. My mother is the oldest patient the oncologist ever referred for surgery. The surgeon will decide if my mother is a candidate for surgery and there are a lot of factors not in her favor. The oncologist has recommended twenty four weeks of chemo. I’m not sure my mother can endure that much chemo.

My mother is frightened and a nervous wreck. It’s hard to see my mother this way. I wish she didn’t have to go through this. It makes me sad to think this could have been prevented if she had stopped smoking years ago. But she didn’t stop and now I’m stuck in a nightmare of a situation.

My brother sent my sister an email asking her to come to St. Louis and help. It’s been three days and so far my sister has not responded. I may end up paying her to be there because one day of my pay equals more than one week of her unemployment. I doubt paying her will entice her to be there. I’m not even sure I really want her there. She can often cause more harm than good.

I just want to run away and hide…

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Salsa

K is off cycling in the Tour De Cure in Longmont so I decided to make salsa this morning. I got the recipe at the Use Real Butter blog. The woman that writes this blog post really great recipes. She also posts pictures of her dishes along with some beautiful pictures of Colorado. She lives somewhere in Boulder County. If you want to see what Colorado really looks like away from the Denver metropolitan area check out her pictures. Also, try the salsa if you want to make a really good homemade version.

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Updates 8/19/2010

K comes home today for about two weeks. However, he goes to Longmont on Friday to participate in the Tour De Cure diabetes fundraiser. He’s doing a 100 mile bike ride. He’s raised over $4,000.

My cousin sent me a demo for a new TV show she’s pitching to production companies. She wants K and me to watch it and provide feedback. Hopefully, a production company will able to sell the show to a network.

The lesbian’s house is already under contract. It’s been on the market for less than two weeks. They paid $820k and listed it for $865k. The gals bought the house from Bill and Randy two months ago. There are five houses on our street for sale but they don’t seem to be attracting buyers.

The developer who bought the house on Sheila’s street has been slapped with a stop work order by the city. He didn’t pull any permits. The house has been reduced to a shell. The interior is gutted to the studs, most of the exterior has been removed, the windows have been removed and part of the roof has been torn off. It’s a hot mess. He also is in hot water with homeowner’s association because he built a two story addition on the back of the house without architectural board approval. This project is one huge cluster fuck.

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The Test Results

My mother called me a few days ago to tell she got her test results. She told me the doctor’s office called her about hour after we last spoke. Her faith in the medical system has been restored because the doctor’s nurse called her. It was only nine days after the test. What my mother doesn’t know is that my brother called the doctor’s office and lit a fire under their ass so they would call my mother.

The brain CT scan showed no cancer in the brain. The cancer seems to be confined to her lungs. After hearing this news I went off on my mother. I told her we’ve been anxiously waiting a week for this news and that she isn’t the only one living this drama. It affects everyone in the family. The phone call ended shortly after my lecture. I called my mother the next day to apologize. My mother said there was no need for an apology because everything I said was true and she deserved the tongue lashing. I almost fell off the sofa.

I’ve never had a conversation like that with my mother. It feels like a new chapter in our relationship. I wonder what will happen next.

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Helping A Friend

My former coworker and friend, G, had an interview with my boss today. My boss told me she wants to offer him the job but needs the approval of the department head who had to leave town this morning to attend to his ailing mother. G has been unemployed since we were both laid off last July from the telecommunications conglomerate based in Paris. His unemployment is about to end so the timing couldn’t be better.

This all started on Monday when the man who manages my contract at the staffing firm sent me an email asking if I knew anyone with the necessary skill set to test software. I referred him to G because we have similar backgrounds. G was screened by the staffing firm on Tuesday morning. On Wednesday G was told to be at my office for an interview on Thursday morning. He impressed by boss in the interview and it looks like we’ll soon be coworkers again.

The only drawback is that it took G an hour and fifteen minutes to get to the office from his house in the Pike National Forrest. The evening commute will be even longer for him. Thankfully, he’ll get to work from home after he learns the job and he’ll be paid a very nice wage.

It’s amazing how things work out. He didn’t have any job prospects and in a matter of days he will land a good job. It’s a good thing.

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Paralyzed By Fear

My mother still has not called for her brain CT scan results. It’s been a week. I called her today and she’s still waiting for the doctor to call her. I offered to add the doctor to our conversation but she said she was baking. She finally admitted she is afraid to call. I reminded her that my brother and I are anxious to get the results too and that she isn’t the only one going through this ordeal. My mother then switched the conversation to my sister. My mother hung up on my sister four days ago because she was chatting with some kids on line while talking to my mother. Once again I told my mother that my sister needs professional psychiatric help. A fifty-five year old woman should not be chatting with teenagers online. I wanted to get off the phone because I was so disappointed with my mother. I told her my boss came into my office and I ended the call. I left a message for my brother updating him on the situation. And life goes on.

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