Updates 9/29/2010

K and I booked tickets last night to fly to Ft. Lauderdale for Thanksgiving. We’ll be staying with R & H. R & H relocated to Ft. Lauderdale from D.C. last year. Petey from D.C. will also be in Ft. Lauderdale so we’ll be able to have a mini reunion of the D.C. boys.

K and I are talking about going to Tokyo, or Hong Kong, or Shanghai for Christmas. K needs to rack up some miles to keep his premier executive status on United so we’re looking for a fun destination. I’ve never been to Asia so I’m looking forward to going.

One of the new developers made an update to a critical database last night and locked out all of the users. Nobody can access their work logs or projects this morning. She doesn’t start work until 9 so we’re basically dead in the water until she fixes the problem.

My mother is still recovering from her surgery. She goes back to the surgeon tomorrow. Her chemo start date needs to be approved by the surgeon.

A miracle happened on Monday. My father figured out how to turn on the stove and he cooked a hamburger. The first one he ever cooked in his 83 years.

K’s parents are arriving on Friday for a visit. His mother told me they eat lunch at 9:30 in the morning. I usually don’t get out of bed until 8 on the weekends. It will be an interesting visit.

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Weekend Update 9-27-10

K and I were on the go all weekend. The workmen finished installing the swap cooler on Friday. We were left with a dusty house because they had to cut holes in the plaster ceilings to install the vents. The house needed to be cleaned from top to bottom. We started cleaning house on Saturday morning.

K and I hosted a going away dinner for eight on Saturday night for our friend, Judy, who is moving to Atlanta to help with her soon to be delivered grandson. Cindi provided the flowers for the table. The dinner was last one we’ll have outside this year. I made butternut squash soup, pan seared cod with summer vegetables from the Use Real Butter blog and a chocolate bourbon tart from the October 2010 issue of Food and Wine. Everyone had a great time with the last guest leaving around midnight.

On Sunday K and I went to Cindi’s for brunch. She had all of her gays there. Barbara popped in to say hello. K and I hadn’t seen her since Cabo. We stopped by Barbara’s house before leaving Coal Creek Canyon. Barbara bought a condo in Kentucky since she will be working on a project there for the next four years. She gave us a tour of her remodeled home which looks like a minimalist New York loft inside of a rustic mountain home in Colorado. Her house is spectacular. The living room is two stories tall and the main floor has ebony stained hardwood floors. She probably spent close to 70K on the kitchen alone.

On the way home K and I did a little shopping at Colorado Mills. One of the saleswomen at Neiman Marcus gave us each a coupon for 40% off one item. I bought a Theory shirt for next to nothing and K bought a Paul Smith shirt.

Sunday evening we had a quiet dinner at home and watched the Amazing Race and a few other shows. Soon it was time to go to bed to get ready for another work week.

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Confession Of A Workman

I’m often amazed at what people will tell me. Today I was working from home while the workers were installing the swamp cooler. The young guy (35) on the crew starts talking about his sixteen year old daughter. She told the guidance counselor at school that she was smoking pot. This led to other drama which involved the police being sent to his house. The young guy then tells me his daughter best friend is a lesbian. His daughter is now experimenting with lesbianism and wants to be a Wicken. The young guy then tells me he a right wing Christian but is open minded about a lot of things. He tells me he experimented with guys when he was younger. His parents found out and threw him out of the house. Then he became a father at 17.

I was working in the office while he was telling me this. He just started talking about his daughter and rest came out. I didn’t ask any probing or prying questions. I was puzzled when he admitted he fooled around with guys. Why was he sharing this information with me? Was it because he knew I was gay and perhaps felt comfortable sharing this information with me? I’ll never know but it sure made my day interesting.

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Cancer Free

I saw my oncologist yesterday. The CT scan and chest x-ray I had about a week ago came back cancer free. I’ll still see my oncologist every six months but I have graduated to a yearly CT scan schedule. The insurance company will love it.

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Wedding Update

I’m slammed at work so I’ve give you a brief wedding update.

I was expecting a lot of wedding drama given past history and the people attending. Surprisingly, there was no wedding drama. Everyone got along. Everyone was on their best behavior. Homophobic Uncle Russ shook my hand and was very cordial. His preacher son in law was also polite but didn’t go out his way to engage me in conversation. Uncle Russ’ two daughters were very pleasant and we had a nice conversation at the reception.

K’s older brother gave me hug and thanked me for attending. I carefully chose my words when talking to him. I think he’s a time bomb waiting to go off. I didn’t want to be the one to cause conflict so I bit my tongue a couple of times.

The only drama was spending three hours on Friday and four hours on Saturday night in the emergency room. K developed cellulitis on his right thigh. He needed IV antibiotics and pain killers.

I drove home on Sunday because K was taking pain killers. We made it home in six hours with a stop for lunch. That’s a record for the trip. K’s Audi is like a steering wheel attached to a rocket ship. Passing cars was a breeze when the turbo kicked in. I never had it over 100 but I was tempted. It’s a fun car to drive.

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Delayed Departure

We planned to leave the house at 9. It’s now almost 9:30 and K is getting into the shower. Guess what he was since early this morning? Our revised target launch is 10.

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A Sobering Thought

K arrived back in Denver in the early afternoon. The car service dropped him off just in time to attend a two o’clock conference call. When I arrived home from the office he was at Helena’s getting a haircut. Since he wasn’t home I went to the gym for a back and biceps workout. When I got home I finally got to see my man. It felt so good to hold him in my arms even though he was only away for ten days. I started getting ready for the trip to Durango while K took business calls and worked on bid with a rapidly approaching deadline. I fixed a quick dinner and did the dishes while took more calls and returned to work on the bid. I settled in the family room to watch Project Runway. K joined me a short time later with his laptop. K’s evening was interrupted several times by business calls. He finished his last call while nursing a gin and tonic around ten. K is now in bed reading and I’m in the office writing this post with Ferdinand curled up in the chair in the corner. I’m waiting for a load of whites the finish in the dryer and then I’m off to bed.

K told me he reviewed his travel log this evening. He has only been home seven of the last twenty four months. I know he’s been gone a lot but it was jarring to hear the numbers. I love my man and I will do what it takes to support his career. Isn’t that what ones does for their mate?

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Family Secrets

Last week my brother was sitting with my father in the hospital waiting room while my mother was in surgery. My father revealed some family secrets. The room was crowded so my brother was appalled that my father chose this venue to start airing the family’s dirty laundry. My father seems to have lost the ability to filter any comment or content.

My father told my brother about Uncle Dick. Neither of us had ever heard of Uncle Dick. He was my mother’s uncle. The family made sure that no young female was ever left alone with Uncle Dick because he was a child molester. I guess the young boys were fair game. Then my father told my brother about our maternal grandfather’s funeral. I don’t remember my maternal grandfather. He died when I was three years old and before my brother was born. My father told my brother there were a number of well dressed good looking men at the funeral. None of the family members knew any of the men. An uncle started a conversation with the men to find out how they knew my grandfather. The men were friends my grandfather met at a bar he hung out in. They men had many kind things to day about my grandfather. They talked about his generosity, the big tips he left and his habit of buying drinks for everyone. This bar was frequented by homosexuals. My grandfather was gay! My dad believes I inherited being gay from my mother’s side of the family. At least he believes I was born this way and didn’t choose to be gay.

The news about my grandfather was shocking because he chose friends over a family he created. My mother has always talked about how poor her family was while she was growing up. Food was scarce and they only had the basic necessities. My mother quit school at an early age to go to work to help support the family. She had to turn her paycheck over to her father. Apparently, her father was spending the money at the bar with his gay friends while neglecting his wife and six children. This is so appalling to me. My grandfather let his children do without so he could be out having a good time with his friends. I understand the times were different. Gay men stayed in the closet and got married. Having children means being a responsible parent. My mother’s childhood was miserable because of poverty. Her life could have been so different if her father had not neglected his responsibilities.

My head is still spinning from these revelations. Aren’t you glad I didn’t write about cancer?

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Choosing The Lesser Of Two Evils

Would you rather set your hair on fire or go to jail? Sometimes we have to make a choice between two things we never want to do.

K’s nephew is getting married this weekend. K and I are driving to Durango on Friday and back to Denver on Sunday. We planned on having dinner with K’s parents on Friday night until we found out K’ mom invited her brother, Uncle Russ, and his contingent to dinner. Uncle Russ believes that God hates fags. When K came out Uncle Russ forbid any member of his family to have any contact with K. K has had almost no contact with that part of the family. I’ve never met any of them. We decided not to attend the dinner.

Our other option is to help decorate the for the reception. The groom’s mother will be there. I don’t care for her at all. I think she’s a bossy know it all. She seems to be an authority on every subject except managing personal finances. I don’t care to be around her. Her husband, K’s brother, assaulted me at K’s law school graduation. The revisionist history made up by K’s brother blames me for starting the brawl. I’ve have had very little contact with K’s brother or his wife since the graduation incident. Thankfully, their daughter didn’t inherit any of their bad traits. She’s a young woman who is creating a wonderful life for herself and will make a mark on the world.

We chose the lesser of two evils. We’re helping to decorate for thereception. I’ve worked with Cindi on event décor so I know a thing or two about the process. But I’m sure the SIL knows even more so I’ll bite my tongue, smile and not make any comments. I can still cuss out the SIL in my mind. I don’t want to be the one to ruin any of the wedding events. I’ll leave that up to Uncle Russ.

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Punished For No Reason

The engineer who caused many problems last month is misbehaving again. She started working from home again and is slow to respond to issues. She didn’t answer voice mail or email for two days then informed her manager that she needed two days off for a family emergency; her brother in law’s girlfriend had a stroke. Then she took a week off to go camping without addressing any urgent work issues. Today, the department head issued an edict only allowing people supporting the flagship product line to work from home one day a week. All of the other department personnel supporting minor product lines can do as they please. I’m one of the ones affected. My manager informed me the new policy is because of the problem engineer’s behavior. The department head is punishing the whole team instead of dealing with the behavior of the problem engineer. Everyone on the flagship product team is pissed. The actions of one troubled employee have resulted in sanction for the rest of us. It’s not fair but its life in the corporate world when one works for a department head that is unwilling to directly confront a person causing a problem.

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