Archive for September, 2010

Family Secrets

Last week my brother was sitting with my father in the hospital waiting room while my mother was in surgery. My father revealed some family secrets. The room was crowded so my brother was appalled that my father chose this venue to start airing the family’s dirty laundry. My father seems to have lost the ability to filter any comment or content.

My father told my brother about Uncle Dick. Neither of us had ever heard of Uncle Dick. He was my mother’s uncle. The family made sure that no young female was ever left alone with Uncle Dick because he was a child molester. I guess the young boys were fair game. Then my father told my brother about our maternal grandfather’s funeral. I don’t remember my maternal grandfather. He died when I was three years old and before my brother was born. My father told my brother there were a number of well dressed good looking men at the funeral. None of the family members knew any of the men. An uncle started a conversation with the men to find out how they knew my grandfather. The men were friends my grandfather met at a bar he hung out in. They men had many kind things to day about my grandfather. They talked about his generosity, the big tips he left and his habit of buying drinks for everyone. This bar was frequented by homosexuals. My grandfather was gay! My dad believes I inherited being gay from my mother’s side of the family. At least he believes I was born this way and didn’t choose to be gay.

The news about my grandfather was shocking because he chose friends over a family he created. My mother has always talked about how poor her family was while she was growing up. Food was scarce and they only had the basic necessities. My mother quit school at an early age to go to work to help support the family. She had to turn her paycheck over to her father. Apparently, her father was spending the money at the bar with his gay friends while neglecting his wife and six children. This is so appalling to me. My grandfather let his children do without so he could be out having a good time with his friends. I understand the times were different. Gay men stayed in the closet and got married. Having children means being a responsible parent. My mother’s childhood was miserable because of poverty. Her life could have been so different if her father had not neglected his responsibilities.

My head is still spinning from these revelations. Aren’t you glad I didn’t write about cancer?

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Would you rather set your hair on fire or go to jail? Sometimes we have to make a choice between two things we never want to do.

K’s nephew is getting married this weekend. K and I are driving to Durango on Friday and back to Denver on Sunday. We planned on having dinner with K’s parents on Friday night until we found out K’ mom invited her brother, Uncle Russ, and his contingent to dinner. Uncle Russ believes that God hates fags. When K came out Uncle Russ forbid any member of his family to have any contact with K. K has had almost no contact with that part of the family. I’ve never met any of them. We decided not to attend the dinner.

Our other option is to help decorate the for the reception. The groom’s mother will be there. I don’t care for her at all. I think she’s a bossy know it all. She seems to be an authority on every subject except managing personal finances. I don’t care to be around her. Her husband, K’s brother, assaulted me at K’s law school graduation. The revisionist history made up by K’s brother blames me for starting the brawl. I’ve have had very little contact with K’s brother or his wife since the graduation incident. Thankfully, their daughter didn’t inherit any of their bad traits. She’s a young woman who is creating a wonderful life for herself and will make a mark on the world.

We chose the lesser of two evils. We’re helping to decorate for thereception. I’ve worked with Cindi on event décor so I know a thing or two about the process. But I’m sure the SIL knows even more so I’ll bite my tongue, smile and not make any comments. I can still cuss out the SIL in my mind. I don’t want to be the one to ruin any of the wedding events. I’ll leave that up to Uncle Russ.

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Punished For No Reason

The engineer who caused many problems last month is misbehaving again. She started working from home again and is slow to respond to issues. She didn’t answer voice mail or email for two days then informed her manager that she needed two days off for a family emergency; her brother in law’s girlfriend had a stroke. Then she took a week off to go camping without addressing any urgent work issues. Today, the department head issued an edict only allowing people supporting the flagship product line to work from home one day a week. All of the other department personnel supporting minor product lines can do as they please. I’m one of the ones affected. My manager informed me the new policy is because of the problem engineer’s behavior. The department head is punishing the whole team instead of dealing with the behavior of the problem engineer. Everyone on the flagship product team is pissed. The actions of one troubled employee have resulted in sanction for the rest of us. It’s not fair but its life in the corporate world when one works for a department head that is unwilling to directly confront a person causing a problem.

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Another Fire

There’s a new fire west of Loveland that has burned about 600 acres and two houses. Residents living within a four mile radius of Pinewood Reservoir have been evacuated. As of this morning the fire was only 2% contained.

The fire near Boulder is 87% contained. It has burned about 6,700 acres. Firefighters hope to have it completely contained by this evening.

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Updates 9-12-2010

My Mother is still in the ICU. She’s having difficulty breathing and had a heart rate episode yesterday. My brother told me that every time my father walks into her hospital room her heart rate increases dramatically. Can you imagine disliking a person so much that the sight of the person makes your heart beat faster?

Cindi called to tell me her ex is still torturing her. He removed her name from the electric service and transferred the deposit to his new digs. Cindi has five days to open a new account and pay a new deposit or the service will be shut off.

Lena’s childhood home in Sunshine Canyon was destroyed in the Four Mile Canyon fire. Her parents died when she was eighteen leaving the house and ten acres to her and her brothers. They couldn’t afford the house so it was sold and Lena used to money to go to CU Boulder. She was sad to learn it burned but was thankful she sold it.

I needed to buy a new belt so I went to mall yesterday. I spent too much money but everything I bought was on sale except for the belt. In addition to the belt I bought two cashmere sweaters, a blue oxford button down, a Burberry raincoat and a Le Creuset seven quart pot that will be great for cooking strews and other yummy winter meals.

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My mother had her surgery yesterday. She chose the shorter less invasive surgery but the surgeon had to do the longer more complex surgery because the tumor had grown substantially since the PET scan. My mother’s endless procrastination had its consequences. The surgery lasted almost four hours. She will be kept unconscious until tomorrow. The surgeon expects her to be in a lot of pain. My mother will be in the ICU for next several days.

Thankfully she made it through the surgery. Now there’s the road to recovery with a long detour for chemo. I think it’s going to be a bumpy road ahead.

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Miss M came into the office around noon yesterday. She told me that of the seven houses on her street only hers and her next door neighbor’s were still standing. The two houses below hers burned on the first day of the fire and the three on the ridge above her were destroyed on the second day of the fire. One of her neighbors who is vacationing in Tahiti found out their house was a total loss via the internet. Miss G found the picture above on the web. It shows her neighbor’s houses on the ridge engulfed in flames.

Miss M is doing better that expected. She came into to work because she was tired of staying in the shelter where people are anxiously awaiting news about their homes. Miss M knows that life in her peaceful canyon will never be the same.

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