Leaving On A Jet Plane

I’m not sure if I’ll have time to post while I’m in Lisbon. I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday.

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A Passive Aggressive Holiday Gift

K’s sister in law in Durango works in a Doctor’s office. She acts like she runs the Mayo Clinic. I’ve never really liked this woman. I think she’s bossy and I don’t like how she tries to tell people what they need to do. I was really surprised when we opened their holiday gift and found a box of truffles. Why would anyone send truffles to a type 1 diabetic?

Work has been a bitch and half this week. Most of the regular employees are on vacation. Only the contractors are working today. There are several hot issues waiting for resolution. The test cycle closes three days after the holiday break. The new year is going to start off with a mad dash to finish the next delivery.

Have you hear John McCain is being referred to as a rapidly decomposing statesman? I feel it’s an appropriate description. He’s still pissed about DADT. Get over it, bitch!

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A Holiday Wish

Mike sent a very nice holiday card. The card consisted of two components. The main card was a heavy card stock. Inside was a lighter card stock with a preprinted message extending warmest wishes for a happy holiday season. The card was signed by Mike and Chris. Just below the signature was a note indicating there was a secret message inside. I turned the page and found the secret message. It said “I hope you get banged like a screen door in a tornado for New Years.” Both K and I laughed. I wonder what he wrote in Crazy Barb’s card.

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Channel Is Spelled With Two ‘N’s

The weather forecast is calling for two to eight feet of snow in the mountains but nothing for Denver. The high will be in the mid forties all week. We sure could use the moisture. It’s so dry here.

I overheard this conversation in the locker room at the gym today between two really buff men in their twenties. One man was wearing a CHANEL N°5 t-shirt.

Man 1: Where did you get the t-shirt?

Man 2: My Girlfriend got it in Paris. It was too tight so I cut off the sleeves. It’s some type of TV or Radio station in France.

Man1: Dude channel is spelled with two ‘n’s. You’re wearing a CHANEL N°5 t-shirt. It’s women’s perfume.

Man 2: Are you fuckin’ kidding me?

Man 1: No.

Man1: Oh, fuck! I wore this to a Nugget’s game.

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End Of The Party Season

K and I started off the weekend by attending a holiday party hosted by the couple that lives across the street to the south. We have an amicable relationship but don’t really care for the couple mainly because the wife is a boaster. The wife is always bragging about something that is insignificant to other people. She goes into elaborate detail about a luxury vacation, the second home they bought in Phoenix or the socially prominent family her husband is from. She rarely inquires about anything going on in our lives. Her behavior on Friday was no exception. The wife cornered K and told him we should have come earlier because the rich guys that bought the mansion had just left. She was telling everyone that the rich guys had stopped by. What a cunt. She invited K and I and the rich guys but didn’t bother to invite any of the other gay couples in neighborhood. She was acting like a she deserved a merit badge because the rich guys stopped in briefly. I couldn’t wait to leave.

Last night we went to K’s company party at the Ritz Carlton. There wasn’t anything special about the party or the hotel. The Ritz Carlton is in a remodeled Embassy Suite hotel building and is not on par with other Ritz Carltons I’ve been in. The only thing outstanding about the hotel is the Dale Chihuly chandelier over the staircase that leads to the second floor main ballroom. The company was good and the drinks were strong. It was nice to chat with K’s peers and their spouses. We were home by eleven.

This afternoon we attended another neighborhood party down the street. The hosting couple throws a holiday party every year. The house was packed as usual. I found it odd that people were standing at the buffet table talking and eating off the buffet. Fix a plate of food and move on. There are other people at the party that want a nosh. The buffet wasn’t set up for your personal enjoyment. Despite the buffet hogs we had a good time chatting with our neighbors.

That all for now. It’s time to watch Survivor finale.

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A Far Away Exotic Place

Word got out at work that I’m going to Lisbon for the holidays. That happens when you tell one person and they blab it all over the office. It’s like high school sometimes. It’s as if they don’t have a life so they want to live vicariously through mine.

Here’s proof that the educational system in the United States is failing. All of my peer are college educate professionals. A few have advanced degrees. Here are a few of the stupid questions I have fielded over the last few days:

Is it summer in Lisbon?

Have you been to Africa before?

Where is Lisbon?

What language do they speak there?

Isn’t Lisbon next to Iraq?

What a shame! People in the United States are so ignorant when comes to other countries.

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Getting Paid For Nothing

I’ve been at work for an hour and the only thing I can do is read email. Access to all of the internal systems is down. But I can access Google and any external website. I guess I’ll surf the net until access is restored. There’s nothing else I can do.

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Updates 12-13-10

The couple wanting to tear down Mrs. Parker’s house and the man who filed the application for landmark designation came to an agreement. The man withdrew the application for landmark designation. Rumor has it that a “financial” arrangement was made.

It was 61° in Denver today. The forecast calls for a high of 65° tomorrow and snow on Thursday.

Cindi called me this weekend with some hot dirt. Her ex-boyfriend’s twenty-four year old daughter has divorced her husband and come out as a lesbian. Her Facebook page shows she’s in a relationship with a woman and has pictures of her kissing the new love of her life. I wonder who got custody of their one year old child.

Mike turned forty-eight yesterday. He’s having a laser chemical peel on the 23rd. His uncle is one of the high profile dermatologists in town so I’m sure he’s getting a good discount on the procedure.

I’m so happy the Nat and Kat won the amazing race. It’s about time two women won the race. However, Brook and Claire drove me crazy.

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Ferdinand’s Mail

Crazy Barb sent a holiday card to our cat, Ferdinand. We’ve only received two holiday cards and one was for the cat.

We don’t have any holiday parties this weekend.

My mother is doing better than expected. She’s been a little tired after her chemo treatments but has not been sick.

When I got to the gym this afternoon the front pocket on my backpack was open and my Bottega Veneta wallet that K bought me at Bendel’s in New York was missing. I panicked and stated thinking of all the things I’d have to do. Cancel the credit card and ATM card. Spend an eternity in hell at the DMV. Thankfully, I found it on floor in the back seat of the car.

There’s not much going on yet but the weekend is just starting.

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Size 6 or 16?

I called my mother last night to see what she wants for Christmas. She could not give me any ideas. I was contemplating buying her a cashmere sweater so I asked a few questions to try to determine her size. She told me she hasn’t measured her bust in twenty years. She also said she is 5’ 4” and weighs 128 pounds so she must be a size 14 or 16. I almost fell off my chair laughing. Clearly my mother has not bought clothes in a long time. I thinking she’s about a size 6. What do you think?

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