Archive for April, 2011

Chatty Cathy is giving my team a presentation this morning on a new user interface that we will be testing. Chatty Cathy went through the presentation with me about six months ago in a one on one meeting. I was beyond bored. Two months ago Chatty Cathy gave the same presentation in a staff meeting I attended. I’d rather burn in a fire than listen to Chatty Cathy give this presentation again. I tried to get out of today’s meeting but Chatty Cathy insisted I attend because there would be new and important information presented. Later this morning I will get paid to sit in a conference room and be bored to death. I’m sure I’ll be day dreaming about lunch.

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A Crazy Barb Story

Crazy Barb called Mike because she couldn’t start her two year old Toyota that she uses for errands and for taking the dog to the park for walks. She doesn’t like to drive the dog around in her new BMW so the dog didn’t get a walk that day. Mike walks across the street to see what’s wrong with the Toyota. Mike tells Barb the Toyota needs a new battery. Barb tells Mike to order her a new car because it’s too much trouble to deal with buying a new battery. It took Mike a half hour to convince Barb that she didn’t need a new car since the Toyota only has a few thousands miles on it. The next day Mike bought and installed a new battery in Barb’s Toyota. Barb still thinks she needs a new car but will drive the Toyota for a couple more months.

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A Close Call

My brother called on Friday night with news of the St. Louis tornado. The news reports made it sound like the tornado hit my parent’s neighborhood and they could not be reached by phone as the power was off. My mother was not answering her cell phone either. The major highways leading to my parent’s house were closed.

After several hours of calling back and forth my brother finally reached a childhood friend whose mother lives across the street from my parents. He told my brother there was extensive damage in the surrounding area but my parent’s neighborhood was untouched.

My brother drove to my parent’s house on Saturday morning and called to confirm they were safe. My mother didn’t have her cell phone turned on and my dad did not know how to turn it on. My brother gave my dad a lesson in cell phone 101 and then went home.

Now we only have to worry about cancer and my mother’s failing health.

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Strange Office Behavior

Chatty Cathy bought a package of chocolate chip cookies at Costco and brought them to work. He set them out next to the microwave and sent out an email inviting the group to enjoy them. I walked by the microwave a few minutes ago on my way to talk to a developer. The empty cookie package was sitting by the microwave. Why didn’t the person who took the last cookie throw the empty plastic container in the trash? This seems to be standard behavior in this office. A person will eat the last cookie but is too fucking lazy to put the empty container in the trash. I don’t know why this bugs me but it does.

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I Called It

T was in a bad mood yesterday. I only exchanged a few words with her all day. She arrived a little after nine and immediately made it clear that she wasn’t having a good day. She didn’t need to say anything. I could tell by the wig and baseball cap she was wearing. T never does her hair when she’s in a bad mood. She also wore sunglasses for the first hour she was in the office. At least she didn’t bitch about hating her job.

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My office mate, T, comes back today from a two week vacation. I’m hoping she’s in a good mood but chances are she’ll be tired and will bitch about hating this job and not having any money.

K and I are planning a minor kitchen remodel. The kitchen is fourteen years old and is starting to look it. We’re replacing the backsplash tile with something more current, painting, refinishing the floor and getting a new refrigerator.

K is rebuilding the pond this weekend. This will be the fourth or fifth time. He’s built a holding tank for fish on the lower seating area in the back yard next to the pond. I’m sure I’ll help but I’m dreading it.

My mother is still complaining about my sister’s not calling her. My mother goes to the surgeon tomorrow to discuss her option for surgery to remove the new tumor in her lungs.

Our neighbors, Tom and Sheila, spent last weekend in Beaver Creek looking at condos. Tom has a contract to publish his book. I wonder if the book advance will pay for the condo.

Our other neighbors in the Peace Corp are coming home in June. It only seems like yesterday that they left for Botswana. I wonder if they will reopen their medical practice or stay retired.

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The Biggest Bitch He Ever Met

I finally signed the settlement agreement with my former employer. I agreed to a settlement offer in the arbitration meeting two months ago. It has taken two months to finalize the terms of the agreement. The last two weeks were spent haggling over the language in one sentence. The company’s lawyer has been less than cooperative. My lawyer said she was the biggest bitch her ever met in thirty years of practicing law. The checks should be in the mail. I so happy it’s finally over.

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