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Archive for October, 2014

Sentence Of The Day

I’ve been slammed at work. Got this gem in an email this morning:

I did ask to re-confirm that this is really the way they want this done and they came back with Yes the second way and checked with the product manager.

I’m so happy we’re going with the second way. Do I dare ask what is meant by the second way?

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Dating A Married Man

Last night I had a date with a married man. We went to the symphony. His wife procured the tickets and suggested we go. I had a great time.

Here’s what really happened. My friend, D, works for the symphony. She was given four tickets to last night’s performance. D’s husband, J, invited Tom, Sheila and I to the performance since D would be working the show.

I really did have a great time. I don’t know a lot about classical music but Tom, an opera translator, director and professor and Sheila, an opera singer and pianist, gave me a quick tutorial on the drive downtown. The program consisted of Mahler’s Blumine movement from Symphony No. 1 in D major, Hadn’s Symphony No. 103 in E-Flat major, and Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in D minor. Olga Kern, played the piano in last piece. She was quite amazing. I thought she was going to play herself out of her strapless gown. The crowd loved her and showed their appreciation by giving her a rousing standing ovation.

Tom and Sheila analyzed the performance on the way home in the car. I found it stimulating to hear two professionals’ assessment of the performance. Although they had to explain of few technical remarks for my understanding, I appreciated their critique and agreed with them. We liked Olga and the orchestra as a whole but found the conductor lacking.

It was a nice break from my usual schlep through art galleries on Friday night. And, no, I have no desire to date a man married to a woman or a man.

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Sentence Of The Day

This gem was in an email I received this morning:

“There product line can’t be sold in Saudi Arabia because its manufactured in Israel so orders and parts have to be rerouted to a secondary European plant for assembly than shipped to Saudi Arabia all because the Arabs and Jews can’t get along.”

I don’t know which is more appalling, the bad grammar, or the flippant reference to ongoing tensions in the Middle East.

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Corporate Pissing Contest

Company hires its fifth CIO in four years. New CIO hires many staffers from his last gig. CIO gives contracts to consulting firms owned by friends and family. Nobody seems to know what these consulting firms are doing. CIO realizes he spent his budget. CIO tells business leaders he needs more money to fund planned projects for new product introduction (NPI) and life cycle management (LCM). Business leaders tell CIO to take a hike. CIO cancels all NPI and LCM projects. Business leaders refuse to provide additional funding. Corporate pissing contest starts between CIO and business leaders. CIO caves and scrambles to find funding. CIO cancels contracts for a number of contractors working on NPI and LCM. Some employees are reassigned to other IT projects with funding to avoid layoffs. Employees left working on NPI and LCM get their workloads doubled and are told to work nights and weekends. NPI and LCM are partially funded for current fiscal quarter. Guess who works on NPI and LCM? Guess who didn’t get his contract cancelled because Chatty Cathy deemed him an essential asset? Do you thing the CIO days are numbered?

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Corporate Idiots

A Fortune 500 company employed 5,000 people in a city at the base of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Company builds an architecturally significant 500,000 square foot building to house 3,000 employees. The company downsizes dramatically after being purchased by private equity firms. Company sells architecturally significant building and leases a non-descript building for the remaining 900 employees. Two weeks before moving it is discovered the newly leased building will not accommodate the 900 employees. The company desperately asks employees to work from home so the move can be completed on time. Employees who were previously forbidden from working VO rejoice and give up their offices. It’s a win/win for everyone.

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