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Archive for October, 2014

Corporate Pissing Contest

Company hires its fifth CIO in four years. New CIO hires many staffers from his last gig. CIO gives contracts to consulting firms owned by friends and family. Nobody seems to know what these consulting firms are doing. CIO realizes he spent his budget. CIO tells business leaders he needs more money to fund planned projects for new product introduction (NPI) and life cycle management (LCM). Business leaders tell CIO to take a hike. CIO cancels all NPI and LCM projects. Business leaders refuse to provide additional funding. Corporate pissing contest starts between CIO and business leaders. CIO caves and scrambles to find funding. CIO cancels contracts for a number of contractors working on NPI and LCM. Some employees are reassigned to other IT projects with funding to avoid layoffs. Employees left working on NPI and LCM get their workloads doubled and are told to work nights and weekends. NPI and LCM are partially funded for current fiscal quarter. Guess who works on NPI and LCM? Guess who didn’t get his contract cancelled because Chatty Cathy deemed him an essential asset? Do you thing the CIO days are numbered?

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Corporate Idiots

A Fortune 500 company employed 5,000 people in a city at the base of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Company builds an architecturally significant 500,000 square foot building to house 3,000 employees. The company downsizes dramatically after being purchased by private equity firms. Company sells architecturally significant building and leases a non-descript building for the remaining 900 employees. Two weeks before moving it is discovered the newly leased building will not accommodate the 900 employees. The company desperately asks employees to work from home so the move can be completed on time. Employees who were previously forbidden from working VO rejoice and give up their offices. It’s a win/win for everyone.

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