A Night At The Museum

I met Rebecca at the art museum last night for their final Friday of the month program. I’ve never spent one on one time with Rebecca before last night. She’s Cindi’s friend and I usually see her at gallery openings. Rebecca volunteers at the museum so she gave me the backstory on the museum. She pointed out works that I have not taken the time to observe. Rebecca seems to know every important person at the museum and a lot of the high profile patrons. She took me to see a Keith Haring altar piece that was donated to the museum by Yoko Ono. The screen was the last piece of art Haring created before he died. The piece has been in storage until a few weeks ago.

I had a great time. Having a museum insider give me a tour opened my eyes to many art works that I never took the time to admire. It was a whole new world.

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This Has To Stop

I thought of my friend Carlos when I read this on a NSFW blog (Anne Marie – click here for penises). Carlos is a personal trainer who shaves his chest because he likes to see his well-defined chest and abs. His wife complains that it’s like cuddling with a cactus when his chest hair grows out.

There is nothing more disappointing than taking a new guy home for the first time and ripping his clothes off, only to find that he has “manscaped” himself to look like some sort of dude-shaped topiary. When I bring home a man, I want to see a masculine wreath of pubes around his dick, not a shaved walrus. Tragically, it’s becoming harder and harder to find a guy whose chest stubble won’t give you a rug burn or whose bare nutsack doesn’t look like a dismembered turkey waddle. Guys, this has to stop.

What do you think?

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Where Are They?

Why is it easier for me to get a date with a woman in this town than it is a man? Dianne is going with me to Peter Illig’s opening at Walker Fine Art and Rebecca asked me to go to the final Friday of the month program at the Denver Art Museum. I know I’ll have fun with both. Where are the male equivalents of Dianne and Rebecca?

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Vivian Maier

I was elated to hear Finding Vivian Maier received an Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary Feature. I haven’t seen the film so I ordered the DVD on Amazon. Much to my dismay the DVD is on back order until March. Jackie, my architectural photographer friend, and I are having a movie night after the DVD arrives. Vivian Maier is one of the most important American photographers of modern times. Vivian Maier’s photos are stunningly beautiful and emotional. You should check out the Vivian Maier website if you’re not familiar with her work.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

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Gringo Daddy

I’m wondering why, in my late fifties, I am attracting the attention of Hispanic men. I’ve never seemed to draw their attention previously. Although, I may not have been paying attention since I was in a relationship for twenty years. Most are usually young, thin and boyish. I’m guessing they’re looking for a gringo daddy. I send them on their way. If I wanted children I would have had my own. Lately, I’m getting pinged online by fifty-something Hispanic men. Currently, there are three guys at different stages in the queue. The first up wears a hat in all of his photos. I’m preparing myself for a chrome dome. He’s fifty-nine so there’s a good chance he’s lost most of his hair. He also has a dark beard which leads me to suspect, at his age, it’s been color assisted. I may find out later this week.

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Friday Night Recap

I attended three openings on Santa Fe Friday night; Core, Spark and Vertigo. The show at Spark had excellent paintings. I spent most of the evening at Vertigo Art Space (I know that sounds odd. A man with vertigo hanging out at Vertigo). Peter Yumi curated an excellent show of paintings, photographs, prints and mixed media sculptures. The gallery was busier than expected given that most of the galleries on Santa Fe were not open. I met some really interesting people; a seller of vintage clothes, a web designer and a New Mexican artist who is still trying to get used to the pace of life (things move a lot slower in Santa Fe) in Denver after her relocation a year ago. I also talked to an artist whose best friend used to work for Mary Boone, the legendary New York gallerist. He recounted some unflattering stories his friend told him of how Boone ran her gallery. The friend was so repulsed with the dirty underbelly of art dealing that he left the gallery, and New York, to become a Buddhist monk.

I stayed at the gallery until almost eleven. I never made over to Pirate for the Rule pop-up featuring the original Spark Gallery members. The combination of icy streets and vertigo kept me at home on Thursday evening so I missed the opening of rePOPulated at the Arvada Center. Both shows will be up for a few more weeks so I have time to make the rounds.

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ER Hell

I woke up Monday morning extremely dizzy and nauseous. My doctor called in a prescription for vertigo. Yesterday morning I was awakened by chest pains and was still dizzy. Fearing the worst, I cleaned up and headed to the ER. With a family history of heart attacks, strokes and diabetes, I was prime candidate for a heart attack. To make a very long story short, I spent ten hours in the ER. Many tests were run which resulted in the conclusion that I did not have a heart attack. My aging heart is in excellent condition. There were several theories given on what caused the chest pain but there really is no way to know for certain. The good thing is that it was not a heart attack.

So what does a guy do who spends ten hours in the ER on Friday? He has dinner, showers, dresses and heads out to the gallery openings with his vertigo medication in his coat pocket.

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Disappointment Drive 3

My date with the thirty-five-year-old artist never happened. After two days of texting he told me he was at an art fair in London selling his sculptures. Some of his texts used phrases not common here. Red flags one and two were raised. A Google search of his name resulted in nothing about an artist. Surely, a Denver artist selling sculpture in London would have a website. Red flag number three was raised. Next, he texted about his frustration with the United Kingdom banking system and his inability to cash an American money order. Red flag four was raised. Before he could ask for money I told him I was spending the weekend at Cindi’s house in Coal Creek Canyon which has no cell service (land lines only). I asked him to email me. He never emailed. Red flag number five was raised. He was to return to Denver on Sunday. I emailed and texted the artist but I’ve not received a reply. He’s probably stranded in London with an uncashed money order. I’m sure it was a scam.

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Peter’s Show

The Peter Illig exhibit at Walker Fine Art opens on Thursday, February 5th. I wonder if my favorite mom of three can get pass from parenthood to check out the show with me. Walker, located in the Golden Triangle, is one of the most respected galleries in town and has a history of excellent exhibits. Hopefully, the other galleries in the Golden Triangle will be open. It will be a fun event.

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He Didn’t Die

I never had a second date with Ricky Ricardo. He asked for a second date but fell ill and had to cancel. He said he would contact me when he recovered from his illness. I’ve seen him online so I know he didn’t die. He’s either no longer interested or found something better. Or perhaps the idea of dating a gringo scared him off.

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