I don’t know if there is a word that can describe the dinner at gym pal’s (GP) Friday night. At times I thought it was just gym pals having dinner, while at other times, I felt like it was a date. My opinion wavered back and forth all evening. GP is a mental health professional with a PhD. I’m wondering if the evening was some kind of psychological test.
GP served white wine with appetizers of brie, crackers and fig jam. Red wine was served with dinner which consisted of standing rib roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, black-eyed peas, dilled carrots, baked pear slices, green beans and roasted root vegetables. Flourless chocolate cake with whipped cream was served for dessert. It was too much food. I had one glass of wine with the appetizers but switched to water for the rest of the night.
There was no shortage of conversation as GP seemed intent on telling me about his life from childhood to age sixty-eight. I learned about the romance and passing of the male love of his life. Tears were shed. GP told me about his ex-wife and children. He talked about his young years in a southern state, at which time, he started talking in a southern accent. It was like another personality was emerging. I found it a bit odd and unsettling to see this other personality emerge. I’m not sure GP was aware it was happening. GP also told me some very intimate events of his life, which I will not detail. I found certain events extremely shocking and didn’t know why he was sharing the information. One of the experiences GP shared is a statutory crime in most states. I didn’t think this type of very personal intimate information should be shared the first time two people have dinner. I asked a few clarifying question to make sure I fully understood the situation, only to be horrified by the answers. Perhaps my lack of reaction made GP feel comfortable sharing information with me. GP seemed to be a mental health professional without a filter.
All night I kept trying to figure out if it was a date, or, just two gym pals having dinner. Just when I thought it was just a dinner, GP would make a statement that made me think he wanted more than just friendship. The evening had more twists and turns than the road in Coal Creek Canyon. It was one hell of a roller coaster ride.
Towards the end of evening, GP told me he has been spending time with a thirty-something guy he met at the gym. The guy has a side film career in productions filmed in the valley, and, not in Hollywood. GP also told he doesn’t like men his age, or even men ten years younger, as he has a very strong sex drive. He finds that men around his age, even if they are in shape, can’t keep up with him, or satisfy his needs. At this point I was relieved. I figured this was just dinner, and not, dinner with a bedroom tour.
I was so troubled by one event GP shared that I called a friend who is licensed clinical social worker to discuss the issue. She was alarmed, and could not understand why GP considered the event appropriate dinner conversation, given this was our first meeting outside of the gym. She thought, that perhaps, GP may have felt comfortable with me, and may be a man who has no trouble sharing very intimate details of his life, even if they can be considered crimes. She cautioned me to include a third party in any future social activities with GP outside of the gym.
Whatever the case, I’m perplexed. It was a strange evening but I did feel like I was in any sort of danger. I’m relieved GP is not interested in something more than friendship. But I can’t help but wonder if he will act the same way if we have another one-on-one meeting outside of the gym. It’s like a car crash. You don’t want to see something horrific but you want look at the damage.