Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for August, 2017

Culture Battle

I discovered there’s a culture battle at the office. It’s the result of a massive industry consolidation. I hope you can follow this tale. Game of Thrones may be easier to understand.

Company A announced a bid to acquire company B, one of its smaller competitors. At the same time, Company C, the second largest company in the sector, was trying to merge with Company D, the biggest player in the industry. Regulatory issues squashed the merger of Companies C and D. Company A and Company C decided to merge while Company A was still trying to buy Company B. Company A completed the merger with Company C, along with the purchase of Company B, on the same day. Company A paid $71b for the two companies. The result is chaos and the formation of the number two player in the industry. Company D is still the top dog. Now, three companies are simultaneously trying to come together as one.

The employees of Company C feel that they are superior to the employees of Company A and Company B because their company was bigger than the other two. Customers hated Company C so its identity was abolished with the merge. This move only made C employees resent A and B employees. Company B employees have a “whatever” attitude as they were the smallest of all the companies. Company B employees are grateful to still have jobs. Company A employees resent Company C employees because of their superior attitude. Company A promptly eliminated much-loved perks at Company C like working from home, along with flex hours. They also instituted a business attire dress code which forbids jeans and eliminated casual Friday. None of this helped morale or attitudes.

Three corporate cultures, three sets of systems and three ways of doing business all coming together as one with 40% of the workforce consisting of consultants and contractors. What could possibly go wrong?

Rumors are now circulating around Company A’s possible acquisition of a privately-held industry competitor. Why not add a fourth corporate culture into the mix?

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

A Sartorial Dilemma

What does one wear when one is accompanying their husband on a tour of a hurricane ravaged section of the country? It’s the sartorial question of the day. You know there’s going to be a lot of press. You want maintain your status as a style icon but you’d better not show up in anything from Dolce and Gabbana that costs $50,000. This is especially true when thousands of people in the region just lost all of their possessions. Is a Burberry trench too simple and ubiquitous? Is Vivienne Westwood too extreme? All those real housewives wear Chanel accessories so it best to avoid it. You don’t associated with that ilk and appear to be common. Perhaps something from Céline or Alaïa? Where is Jill Sander when you need her? Would something American from Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein or Theory be more appropriate? It would have to be custom because you really can’t buy off the rack at your income level. And what shoes are appropriate? Would patent leather be a good choice? Do Louboutin or Choo make a rain boot with a four-inch stiletto heel? It’s tough being FLOTUS.

Read Full Post »

Day 13

It’s my thirteenth day of employment. The client finally provided a laptop. The laptop magically showed up on my plastic table while I was in a meeting. I can’t use the laptop until it is reimaged which will take another five days. Sigh!

Read Full Post »

GOT

My ex got me hooked on Game of Thrones (GOT). I have to admit that, at first, I found it confusing. I couldn’t remember the character names, or their relations, or why they were often in conflict. I know the fans of GOT reading this just rolled their eyes. I have finally learned enough that I can now enjoy the show but I still don’t understand many of nuances. What struck me as I watched the season finale is that the women are the true power holders. The queen who sleeps with her brother, the dragon lady, the tall female night, the red-haired woman at the snow castle and her sister are the power brokers (Yes, I can’t remember their names). Could this show be an indirect commentary on our nation? Perhaps it’s time for women to collectively rise up and take power by winning elections in mass. Men have mostly been running this country for the last 241 years. Look at the current state of our nation. It’s a fucked up mess. Is there any doubt that women could improve the current state of affairs?

Read Full Post »

Motivating The Resistance

The first pardon of this administration has been issued. It will serve as motivation to strenghten the resistance. The man running this country is only succeeding in dividing the country with the pardon and the ban on transgendered individuals in the military. He has no respect for the rule of law. He is deplorable.

Read Full Post »

Help Me Understand

Yesterday, I was finally given assignments. However, there were no instructions and the tool I needed to use was not intuitive. A user guide was non-existent. Also, a database I needed to search was being blocked by the firewall because I’m still using my personal laptop. My mentor, who gave me the work, disappeared for a few hours and was offline so he could not be messaged. I consulted with an employee who transferred to Denver a few months ago. The woman is around my age so we’ve become work friends. She had similar frustrations with her assignments and was ready to toss her laptop out the window of our eight floor office. Thankfully, it’s a new building with non-operable windows. The tools and applications are new to her too. Adding to the frustration is a mentor whose first language is not English. The mentor’s accent along with marginal English language skills didn’t help the situation. The mentor returned a few hours later. The woman corralled him into walking us through the tasks and explaining the tool. The mentor found a company laptop for me to use. The woman and I teamed up to tackle the job. It didn’t take long before another roadblock was encountered. The work was requested by an offshore resource. The sentences in the document were ambiguous. After some head banging and a trip to ninth floor to throw the woman’s laptop off the terrace of the outdoor eating area, a clarifying email was sent overseas. Today is new day full of promise, or more confusion when the man overseas responds with answers that don’t make sense. Help me understand how offshoring and hiring H-1B visa holders with poor communications skills is efficient and cost effective when it takes twice the time to do the work.

Read Full Post »

Headed To Work

Waiting for the morning train to take me to the office.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »