Archive for June, 2018


I was talking to a friend about my attempts at dating. I made the statement that they guys I’ve been meeting seemed to be from the land of misfit toys. He asked me if I ever wondered if I was from the land of misfit toys too. His question was alarming. Am I as damaged as some of the men I’ve met? I really don’t know the answer. Perhaps I don’t want to admit that I am damaged, or acknowledge that I’m too picky and have unrealistic expectations for a mate. I’ll have to ponder this for a while. Don’t expect an answer anytime soon. I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

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Helping A Friend

I spent most of Sunday with Mike. He picked me up after meeting with his therapist (I’ve never known a therapist with office hours on Sunday). It used to be couples counseling but the partner stopped attending the sessions. The sessions have been migrated from couples counseling to individual therapy for Mike. The partner is now the ex. It was a tough day for Mike because he now realizes he single but still supports his unemployed ex.

Mike treated me to an early breakfast/late lunch in the Tech Center near his house. Mike didn’t open about a lot of the details but we did talk about being single after a long-term relationship, dating later in life, living in huge house as a single man and being cautious about inviting guys over to his house which is in a swank neighborhood filled with very expensive homes.

Mike was really down and out of sorts but does a good job of masking his feelings. A major issue is the relentless pot smoking by the ex and his inability to find a job he likes. The ex quit his last job three weeks before Christmas. He moved out of the house into a studio apartment which Mike pays for. The ex turned in his car at the end of the lease now relying upon Uber to get around.

After breakfast, I helped Mike plant the pots on the patios of his house. More plants were needed so we headed to the garden center. A stop was made at the community pool to meet some of the neighbors and check out the local action. Mike’s neighborhood has a large percentage of hot DILfs and the pool did not disappoint.

After introductions and conversations at the pool, I helped Mike pick out suitable plants for the patio pots. The ex used to take care of these things but he’s no longer willing to help even though he’s receiving support.

After the pots had been planted, watered and placed back on the patios, Mike drove me around the neighborhood to check out the new construction. The homes keep getting bigger and bigger. He also showed me two houses were guys he found on Grindr live. One was young twentysomething living with his parents while the other was a fortysomething father of four. I advised him to avoid any contact with the Grindr guys. There’s no need to be involved in a neighborhood scandal.

Mike drove me home late in the day. It was good to spend time with him. He’s clearly hurting. I think he needs his friends now more than ever.

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Ending Friendships

I had a great time with Cindi last weekend. It was as if I had never spent a day apart from Cindi. I have known her since the early 90’s. I have never had an argument or cross word with Cindi. I have vacationed with Cindi in Europe, P-town and Mexico many times. There has never been any tension between us. I cherish my friendship with Cindi.

By contrast, I no longer have a friendship with Perry. I will never speak to her again. Perry has been telling people I assaulted her at the museum the night we had words. The night she was taking pain pills and drinking. Perry has told people I tried to hit her with her cane that night. She has also told people the woman, who is charge of individual giving at the museum, urged Perry to call the police so I could be arrested. I admit to raising my voice and telling Perry she should have stayed home. I also told her she should not be drinking while taking pain pills and driving. I did not try to assault her.

Perry has also told Paddy I have been spreading rumors about him. Sadly, Paddy could not clearly explain what was said. Paddy believes I told people he can’t manage his money and other stuff. The other stuff was explained as, “you know, stuff”. I admitted I told Mike I believe Paddy should be saving money if he truly hauls in twenty grand a month. I told Paddy the same. I never said he mismanaged money. Paddy accepted my apology but has not spoken to me for two months. I never had a chance to counter the other allegations because Paddy’s limited communication skills do not permit him to articulate his thoughts, or relay what was said in a conversation. Stuff will remain stuff.

I’ll never know what Perry told Paddy. At this point, I don’t care. If he believes Perry, there’s nothing I can do about it. A four friendship has been ruined. I’m responsible for damaging the friendship by talking to Mike about Paddy. One could argue it was never a very good friendship if one disagreement in four years ruins a friendship. As for Perry, I will never forgive her. I don’t want people in my life like Perry. I don’t like liars. I will stick with my good friends, like Cindi.

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Watching The Kids

My client interface has started working from home in the afternoons because his wife returned to work and he needs to watch the children. His children are 18 and 21. His children were also home schooled and they are now taking college courses online. Do you think these kids will be prepared for the real world?

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