Posted in friends, my life on June 27, 2020|
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I’ve been spending time with Bart, the architect. I find him devastatingly handsome, yet he doesn’t know how handsome he is. He’s one of those guys with a razor sharp chin line with a square jaw. He could cut paper with it. He’s also one those guys who has a 5 o’clock shadow at the end of the day, but oddly has very little body hair. He’s like Clark Kent but shorter and leaner with a taste for fetishes. He’s extremely shy and socially awkward at times. He’s attracted to guys who are young, hairless and skinny. The type of guy who’s 21 but looks 16. That is definitely not me. It will never be nothing more than a friendship.
Bart asked me to take him clothes shopping because the stores never have his size, yet he didn’t know what size he should wear. How does a man get to 60 and not know how to buy clothes? He knows I’m a bit of a clothes whore so I was his go to person. Bart is 5’8” and weighs around 140. At the time, the store options were limited as most stores were still closed and Bart tends to be frugal. Our first stop, Banana Republic, was deserted. Bart didn’t know how to work with a sales person so I stepped in. Bart couldn’t find anything he liked. I picked out two shirts in what I thought was his size. I gave the salesperson the shirts and asked her to start a room. Bart was unsure about my choices but I made him try them on. Bart liked both after trying them on. He bought both shirts. Success! The next stop was the Gap for jeans. After teaching jeans 101, he tried on three pairs and bought all three thanks to a great sale. He vetoed shopping online at Nordstrom or Neiman’s as he didn’t want to be bougie.
Bart has asked me to join him on walks in the evening after work. It’s an enjoyable time until he starts talking about conspiracy theories. He believes COVID-19 was engineered by the United States military. He thinks aliens are being kept at Area 51. He also believes the worlds billionaires are creating a new city on a private island where they will move so they can declare independence from all governments. Only rich people will be allowed on the island. I pointed out that the least wealthy of the billionaires would be the new poor on this island. He had no answer when I asked who was going to clean their houses and cook their meals. I doubt the wives of the richest men would run a vacuum around a mansion.
Bart will accompany me to the art museum this afternoon to see the Winslow Homer/Frederic Remington exhibit. I’ve known Bart for two years but I never knew he had any interests in art. His shyness prevents him from opening up to people. For at least a year, I thought he disliked me. Recently, he told me my confidence and social skills intimidated him. I was taken aback. I never thought my self-confidence and social skills could be intimidating.
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