Not Wanting To Be That Man

WM texted yesterday morning inquiring about my Thanksgiving.  He spent Thanksgiving by himself as his elderly parents are not allowing him in the house due to his public facing job.  His new boyfriend spent the holiday with his wife, who he has not yet divorced, and kids.  Within a few minutes of texting he used the adjectives hot and sexy in separate texts to describe me.  WM was flirting.  Undoubtedly, he was looking for intimate companionship.

About a week ago, I saw a new profile on Scruff with a picture of a man looking very much like WM.  I wasn’t sure it was him.  I didn’t message the guy.  I didn’t want to start another online conversation with a forty-something guy if the man wasn’t WM. I have several of those conversations that have been going on for months which show no signs of ending during this pandemic.

During our interaction, WM confirmed the profile was his.  He said he was about to take it down.  His last text was very suggestive.  I opted not to give WM what he wanted.

I didn’t ask WM about his relationship status.  I don’t care if he’s being monogamous.  It’s not my business if he’s not living up to his promise.  I don’t intend to restart activities with WM as I don’t want to be that man.  I don’t want to be the other man who helps facilitate an affair, which, will ultimately hurt another man.  I’d much rather spend time with him outside of the bedroom but I haven’t heard from him since our brunch a month ago.  It seems removing the WB from FWB doesn’t mean a friendship will be maintained. 

It’s now Sunday morning.  WM’s new profile is still active.  His hunt continues.

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Sign of the Times

I saw this on my walk around the neighborhood this afternoon.

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She’s Back

The troubled woman is back.  She’s been walking around the neighborhood for the last several days wearing all black.  She’s traded in her Obi-Wan Kenobi look for a mix of Stevie Nicks and Morticia Addams with a dash of Little House on the Prairie.  She walks with a brisk pace avoiding eye contact and conversation.  She will cross the street to avoid others.  She’s also no longer pregnant.  I wonder what happened to the baby.  It may be a blessing if she lost the baby as I question if this woman can care a child.  Whatever the case, I hope she’s now on birth control. 

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Table For One

My annual trip to Santa Fe for Thanksgiving was cancelled two months ago.  Due to Covid, my hosts decided not to host a dinner and the other guests opted to have small celebrations in their respective homes.

Enter Cindi to the rescue.  She was going to be in town staying with friends in her old canyon neighborhood.  Cindi invited me to their dinner which was only four people including me.  I have socialized with her friends so I wouldn’t be a stranger at the table.  The husband of the couple is an incredibly handsome man who checks all my boxes.  He also wears an eye patch which somehow adds to his hotness.  He’s definitely not on my team, but he’s a great conversationalist and fun to be around.

I talked to Cindi last Friday.  She was in Montana preparing to fly back to Santa Fe.  Cindi was planning to drive to Taos to see friends before heading to Denver next week.  I wasn’t comfortable with the all her travels given the rise in Covid infection rates.  I adopted a wait and see approach.

On Monday, Double A invited me to dinner at his house.  His friend, Jonathan, was the only other guest.  Jonathan is a massage therapist who I find a bit quirky.  I told Double A I would get back to him regarding dinner if my plans with Cindi fell through. Double A cancelled his dinner yesterday.

Yesterday, my neighbor, Sheila invited me to dinner with her husband, Tom.  They have hunkered down for most of the year only occasionally ordering take out.  I have taken many more risks by going out to eat and working out at my gym so I declined her invitation. 

Governor Polis announced new restrictions for Colorado starting today.  In-person personal gatherings are not permitted.  Gatherings between households of any size should not be taking place.  Cindi’s friends cancelled their dinner.  Cindi cancelled her trip.  Now it looks like I will be having dinner at home by myself.  No hot man with an eye patch at my table.

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A Monogamy Pledge

LA arrived yesterday for a long weekend since he will not be spending Thanksgiving with Bruce. Last Sunday, Bruce committed to be monogamous before deleting all of the hook up aps from his phone.  They have only been dating since Labor Day weekend.  Bruce is already talking marriage.  It’s a relationship on fast forward.

Seems a bit rushed to me. I hope they can make it work given the distance and previous behavior.  No more sexts from Bruce or invitations to drop trou.  Either way, it’s going to be an interesting ride. 

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The Proposition

Mike has a proposition for me which involves moving into his house and renting my house.  He’s lonely in his suburban McMansion, which he purchased when he was partnered.  He doesn’t want to downsize until he retires in five or so years.  With no steady boyfriend, and no prospects on the horizon, he’s looking for companionship.  I’m looking for companionship too.  I would have my pick of any of the other four bedrooms which all have an ensuite.  I could use another of the bedrooms for my home office as Mike uses the library for his home office.  Additionally, I would not have to pay rent or contribute to utilities, which can be costly in large house.  I would be able to easily rent my house.

Mike’s neighborhood is a beautiful idyllic setting with lushly landscaped lots and expansive greenbelts.  Property lines are defined by landscaping as fences are not allowed.  And it’s only four miles from my house. The few neighbors I’ve met were very nice and accommodating. 

It’s a tempting offer to live in a swank house rent free while earning income on my house.  I’ve known Mike for 30 years.  I’m not sure I want to live with him.  I would be giving up most of my privacy.  Mike is a very social person.  He’s willing to entertain on a moment’s notice.  I predict there will be guests over quite often.  While the neighbors I met are nice, I’m not sure I want to be part of their country club lifestyle. Also, I think being a landlord has the potential to introduce a new level of drama to my life. And I’d have to put most of my possessions in storage as Mike’s house is fully furnished. 

As much as I’d like to have companionship, I’m not sure moving in with Mike is the answer.  Perhaps we simply need to spend more time together. 

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Will This Be My Next Home?

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Mr. Balmain

It seems like every time I’m online, a man whose main picture shows him sporting a skin tight Balmain t-shirt checks out my profile.  The t-shirt, which verges on being too small, shows off a well-muscled chest.  He also has an award-winning smile which could land him a toothpaste commercial.  He never messages me.  I don’t message him because one much younger man in my life is sufficient.  I’m also not a fan of designer names and logos on clothing.  My own name and initials are enough.  Also, I don’t need to know you spent $300 on a Balmain t-shirt.  I’m even less impressed if the t-shirt is counterfeit.

Speaking of younger men, Bruce texted me a picture of his latest acquisition a few days ago.  He had called me on his way to the Porsche dealership to negotiate a cash sale in the hopes of getting a better deal.  The LA guy now has a Macan to drive while he is here. 

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Is It Too Soon?

On my walk around the neighborhood tonight I saw two houses decorated for the December holidays.  At first, I thought it was a bit early given Thanksgiving is still two weeks away.  In years past, the unofficial local custom has been to wait until after Thanksgiving before displaying holiday decorations.  But then I thought about it for the rest of my walk.  This year has been floating dumpster fire of havoc.  Perhaps my neighbors simply need some cheer in their life so they put up the lights.  The lights did make smile on a day that has been less than uplifting.  They are like a beacon of hope signaling things are going to get better.  I need things to get better.

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1% Looking For Change

Just as the final phase of landscaping for the gay guy’s estate is nearing completion, a new project across the street from their spread is expected to start any day.  The neighborhood has endured at least six years of construction and renovation on the guy’s 33,000 sq. ft. historic mansion which sits on more than six acres of land.  The street was a constant sea of construction vehicles during the week.  That trend will continue as a couple has purchased a 4,400 sq. ft. mid-century ranch home on almost 1.25 acres with the intention of scraping and rebuilding.  The existing house will be replaced by a 14,000 sq. ft. house with underground parking for eight cars along with a pool.  A guest house of undetermined size will also be built.  The project is expected to take 18 months to complete.  The new owners placed a Biden/Harris sign in the yard a few weeks ago.  They may be 1% but they clearly are looking for change.

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