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Archive for the ‘dating’ Category

Disappointment Drive 18

I haven’t sought out romantic adventures during my stint of unemployment. It’s been a while. Are you ready for another trip down disappointment drive?

A few weeks ago, a guy left me a message on Plenty Of Dead Fish. He was an attractive guy who seemed to be in shape. His profile said he was forty-three. After texting back and forth for a while, he wanted to meet for a drink at Trade. I was a little hesitant to meet given the age difference, but I relented. Plans were formalized for meeting.

I was relieved to find out the man looked like his pictures. I immediately found out why he wasn’t smiling in his photos. He was missing several teeth and the ones he had were in bad shape. He was quick to tell me he was getting implants when he gets out of jail. The jail comment inspired me to ask a few fact-finding questions to determine what crime he committed. I was hoping it wasn’t felony assault, or a more reprehensible offense. My questions uncovered a plea bargain for a DUI arrest. He’ll be spending three months in jail. Further questioning revealed he has been arrested nine times for drunk driving but has only had three convictions. Apparently, one arrest was not enough to stop this man from driving drunk. It’s no wonder he wanted to meet for a drink instead of coffee. Check, please!

I wondered if he thought I’d be waiting at the jail when he got released if we made a connection. I also wondered why I keep meeting men with missing teeth. This guy was the third one. Perhaps I need to update my profile to express a desire to meet a man who maintains good dental health.

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A Bittersweet Encounter

I ran into the guy from disappointment drive 14 last weekend. He has been busy with personal challenges and issues with his late mother’s estate. It was good to see him. He told me he thought about me often. I told him how much I enjoyed our trip to his cabin above tree line. I could sense there was some type of chemistry between us. I felt completely comfortable with him but it was a bittersweet meeting.

There is no future for us. There is no us. Even though he’s a highly educated and intelligent man he can’t get past the fact that I’m HIV+.

I gave him a long firm hug when our meeting ended. He felt good to hold and smell. I walked away happy our chance encounter happened, but disappointed. It’s not meant to be. I didn’t offer to continue to meet as friends as that would only continue a longing that will never be fulfilled.

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Disappointment Drive 17

It started out as a scenic drive but it turned into another trip down disappointment drive.

I had lunch with a man I met online. His profile described him as 60, 5’10” and 180. It turned out to be a nice time. The conversation was engaging. Being a retired English teacher, he knows how to properly conjugate a verb. After lunch he walked me to my car. Given we met at a chain restaurant next to a Costco, he gave me a quick hug and I was on my way.

Our second date was at the Denver Botanic Gardens. The teacher knows a lot about plants. Again, the conversation flowed without any awkward moments. After the touring the gardens, the teacher asked to see my house. I thought this was a bit odd but I relented and he followed me to my house. An hour or two was spent getting to know each other (it didn’t go there). As the teacher was leaving he told me he never dated a rich man. His comment alarmed me. I responded by telling him a person needs $5m in assets to be considered rich in this day and age.

Our third date was dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. Even though the dinner conversation was enjoyable, a number of red flags arose. The first red flag popped up when he told me I can’t come to his house because my BMW will draw too much attention. He lives on twelve acres of land in the mountains west of Denver. All of the neighbors have acres of land but people don’t drive fancy cars. I suggested he could take me to his house in his car. That didn’t fly because he rents the basement to tenants who don’t know he has sex with men. Do I look that gay? Does my mere presence out the person I’m with? Next, he told me his wife of thirty-something years died about two years ago. He had two long-term relationships (12 years and 8 years) with other married men during his marriage. He doesn’t think his wife ever knew. He’s also not out to his children so I will never meet them. That also means not spending holidays together. Finally, he told me he was sixty-five. His profile stated he was sixty while he told me on our first meeting he was sixty-two. He age is least of the things that bothered me.

He’s definitely not Mr. Right but he could be Mr. Right Now. He may be fun for a while but he’s not a keeper.

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Disappointment Drive 16

I had another trip down disappointment drive. I never started the car.

I was pinged by a guy online last Monday. He said he liked my profile. He was mid-fifties with a gym-toned body. I had engaging conversations with him over the next few days. He pressed to meet face-to-face. He wanted to meet as soon as possible. I agreed to meet him on Saturday at a local cultural institution. On Saturday, he texted a cancellation an hour before with the excuse he was running errands. I couldn’t help but think a trip to Home Depot or Target trumped meeting me. Later, he texted asking to meet in a few weeks.

I’m guessing he has a lot errands to run. I can’t help but wonder why, initially, he wanted to meet as soon as possible, but now, wants to meet in a few weeks. I bet he’s playing on the side. I didn’t block him because I want to see if he attempts further contact. I not holding my breath waiting.

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I’m Not A Regular Guy

I was pinged online by a thirty-eight-year-old guy. He was a nice-looking hwp ginger. I was reluctant to reply at first given the age difference. Was he another guy looking for a daddy? I threw caution to the wind and dove in. The conversation was centered on careers and working out. It was refreshing the chat didn’t turn into a hook-up request. The guy asked me where I lived. My answer was met with a few minutes of silence. The guy tells me he googled my neighborhood. He was surprised by the housing prices. He went on to tell me he was a regular guy and was looking for a regular guy. He logged off before I could counter.

I’m not sure how he defined a regular guy, but clearly, I’m not, given my
neighborhood. Was I cockblocked by my neighborhood? I usually get rejected for my age, not for my house or car. At least I know he wasn’t a gold digger.

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Disappointment Drive 15

It’s been a while since I took a dating journey. It ended up being another trip down disappointment drive.

A guy messages me online. We text back and forth. His profile says he’s thirty-nine but it turns out he’s thirty-three. I’m not keen on the twenty-six year age. He’s an interesting guy so I continue to chat with him online. He grew up in Austria and moved to the U.S. thirteen years ago. He has a good job, a Volvo SUV and lives in a townhouse in one of the northern suburbs. He wants to get married and have children. I decided the guy could be a friend but not a romantic partner. At this point in my life, I don’t want to raise children, or prevent another man’s dream from coming true.

The guy wanted to meet for lunch. We make plans to meet on Sunday. On Sunday morning, I get a text from the guy cancelling our meeting. He forgot it was 9/11. I asked for an explanation but he didn’t reply. It’s been radio silence ever since.

How odd is that? While every one I know is respectful of 9/11, none of my friends altered their day. Life proceeded as life would on a Sunday. The chance to make a new friend turned out to be another journey down disappointment drive.

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Disappointment Drive 14

I had a date with a guy last Thursday. It had been six months since my last date. He was a few years older than me along with being in shape and a rather handsome guy. We met at the Denver Art Museum for a tour of the galleries in the Hamilton Building. We had a lot of similar interests. He’s well educated and well read. He has owned several companies and holds six patents. He’s into hiking and other outdoor sports. He designed and built a log cabin in high country. He was a man with many accomplishments.

We had dinner after the museum. The date was going well. The conversation flowed. He was the first guy that I felt a connection with. He was the only guy I’ve dated who I would considering seeing a second time. He seemed to be enjoying himself too.

After I told him I was HIV+, I was moved into the friend column. I understand and accept his decision but it’s a disappointment. At least I found out sooner than later.

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