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Archive for the ‘dating’ Category

I took the photographer to a summer backyard party hosted by an artist and his girlfriend who are fixtures on the local art scene. The photographer knew the host as they have both taught art at local colleges. The photographer also knew many of the artists at the party. There were many reunion conversations as the photographer has strayed from the social art scene. A jazz ensemble played while guests socialized and dined on the buffet. It was a most enjoyable evening.

The photographer had two of his black and white photographs with him when he arrived at my house. Both were very beautiful homoerotic images of nude men. We spent the next hour looking at the art in my house, including my wall of shame, which are pieces hanging in the basement stairwell that have fallen out of favor. When we returned to my house after the party, he asked which of his photographs I liked best. The photographer gave the photograph to me. I was honored but a little reluctant to accept the gift.

Is it too soon for gifts? The cost of the photograph is next to nothing but it’s a high value gift given his photographs start in the high hundreds of dollars and reach into the thousands. Giving a gift of high value on second date seems a little too soon. If it was a jar of homemade strawberry jam I wouldn’t think twice about it.

Perhaps I’m overthinking it. I have a history of men giving me gifts over the years. Although, most of those gifts were given when I much younger. My first boyfriend gave me a Gucci belt after dating a month. One man, who was the only “daddy” I dated, gave me a Tiffany key ring with my initials engraved on it, which I still use. The following week it was a Steuben hand cooler. A month later he bought himself a Porsche for his birthday, which, he gave to me a week later to drive. I had if for a few days and returned it to him, as he was more into me, than I was into him. What’s a simple unframed black and white photograph?

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Gym Guy

The first person I saw in the locker room yesterday was gym guy. I explained I had an enjoyable date with the photographer on Saturday night which caused me to want to pursue more encounters with him. Gym guy took the news well. He asked to have dinner as just friends because he deemed me interesting and easy to converse with. I agreed to meet for dinner without making any firm plans. I’m sure gym guy is pursuing other men which may be why he took the news so well.

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Weekend Recap

I cancelled my date with the guy from the gym on Sunday morning. I was apprehensive about the date for a few days. I also had a date on Saturday night with a photographer Morgan introduced me to. The date with the photographer went well. So well, in fact, it made me even more reluctant to have dinner with gym guy. I texted a cancellation to gym guy since texting had been our primary agreed upon mode of communication. He responded to the cancellation by suggesting we could skip dinner and just hook up. I didn’t reply to his text but will probably have to face him at the gym later today.

Sunday night I had dinner with Kelly, her husband and teenage children, along with Mrs. L., who recently asked her husband to move out of the house. Dinner with Kelly at her club’s pool was most enjoyable. I met her children for the first time. They are the most articulate and well-mannered teen agers I’ve met in a long time. Kelly and her husband could probably offer parenting tips. Mrs. L. is about to file for divorce. She’s hoping to reach an out of court settlement with her husband. Her husband isn’t happy he has to find a real job. Kelly filled us in on a job prospect with a new streaming service. The SVP position will require weekly trip to the west coast. Kelly is eager for a new professional adventure. The conversation was lively all evening. Suddenly it was four hours later and time to head home.

After dinner on Sunday night I didn’t regret cancelling on gym guy. I believe I had a much better time with my friends.

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Still Being Hunted

I’m having dinner with a guy from my gym next Saturday night. He approached me about getting together. I’ll be taking a break from being the hunter while I enjoy being hunted one more time.

He texted me last night to firm up plans for next weekend as he was leaving town early this morning on a business trip. Plans were made for him to pick me up. He asked for my address which I provided.

This morning I get a text while he’s waiting for his flight. “Houses are really expensive in your neighborhood”. Undoubtedly, he googled my address and a site like Zillow came up. I’m guessing he knows what that site thinks my house is worth. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this but what does one do in age of technology which puts a wealth of information in hands of everyone with a smart phone. Going forward, I’ll meet the guy at the restaurant.

Is this now common practice? A guy gives you his address and you google it to see where he lives, and in the process you know what his house is worth, which helps determine his economic status. Fess up dear readers. Do you do this too?

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Another Married Man

I met a guy for coffee a few weeks ago. He looked like his pictures. He was my age, my height, in shape and good looking. He was no stranger to a gym. The conversation was going in a direction which indicated he wanted to head straight to bedroom. Then I noticed there was a mark where a wedding ring would be. I asked if he was married. He confirmed he was. I asked if he was in an open relationship. He was not. I asked if he was married to a man or a woman. He got upset with me. He wanted to know why I would think he would be married to man. I was almost speechless. It was as if gay marriage was only for fags. I pointed out we met on a dating app in the MFM section. I asked why I wouldn’t think he would be married to man as he was online looking for male companionship. He didn’t answer. He just got up an left. Another bullet dodged.

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Confessions Of A Homewrecker

I had brunch with the detective on Sunday (Disappointment Drive 23). He’s no longer a detective but I like referring to him that way. He’s now a successful entrepreneur dabbling in a few things, some of which are law enforcement related. He’s a lot of fun and we seem to click. I have a good time with him. Sadly, he’s married to another man. The detective’s husband is in love with another man. It’s a failing or failed marriage. Double A called me a homewrecker the other day. I pointed out the home was already wrecked when I met the detective. And he told me he was single when I met him.

Why have all the men I’ve met since I’ve been single have been duds, except for the detective? I expect the detective will have a messy divorce since he’s been supporting the household for many years. His younger partner doesn’t seem to have significant income-earning potential. The detective is planning on filling for divorce in January if his husband doesn’t stop seeing the man he’s involved with. Planning doesn’t necessarily mean he will file for divorce. Can the detective save his marriage? Will he want to save it? There’s a lot to ponder.

I don’t need to be involved in a mess like this. I need to walk away.

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Disappointment Drive 23

I met a guy who told me he was single even though he was wearing a wedding band. When I asked about the ring, he told he wasn’t out at work and used the ring for cover (I think you know where this is going). He told me he was a detective for a local law enforcement agency. I immediately wondered if he was going to run my plates and do a background check. I have nothing to hide. I always disclose my felony convictions for money laundering and insider trading.

We meet a second time. During our conversation he starts a sentence with “we”. Who could we be? I ask who we is. He admits to having a partner. I remind him he told me he was single. It seems he defines single differently than I do. His partner is 20 years younger. They’ve been together for 18 years. The partner has fallen in love with another man and spends most of his time at the other man’s house. The detective sees himself as single. There’s a long-term relationship and household that needs to be dissolved. It’s the new single.

One would think there has been a sufficient number of red flags and lies to make me run the other way. I haven’t so far. I like the detective. He’s a few years older than me, in great shape and has some hot ink which is only seen when he is shirtless. Conversations are easy and he compliments me. He’s easy to be around. On the other hand, there’s a partner, a relationship and the lies he told me. I can’t help wonder what is really true. I don’t need a man’s partner showing up at my house wondering why his husband has been at my house.

I know I should stay away from the detective but I continue to text with him. He’s the first man in a long time that I have wanted to see more than once. I question if he really is ending his relationship given the false statements he has made. Can I believe anything he has told me? Am I compromising my values by getting entangled with a man in a relationship? Have I become desperate? Am I just the rebound guy? Is the detective Mr. Right Now, and not Mr. Right? I think I know the answer to the last question. I’m not sure how to answer the other questions.

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