Archive for the ‘dating’ Category

Rich Man, Poor Man

Bruce stopped by yesterday morning on his way home from the chiropractor.  He broke up with his boyfriend of eight months on Sunday.  Coincidentally, the boyfriend told me weeks ago he was going to break up with Bruce.  I never shared this with Bruce as I didn’t want to be in the middle of their relationship issues.  It’s a good thing Mike talked Bruce out of buying a BMW to keep at the boyfriend’s Florida house.  Although, Bruce did buy an expensive painting which was shipped to Florida.  I guess it’s the price of a breakup.

Bruce showed me pictures of his new love interest who he has been chatting with for a while.  Nothing like having the next guy waiting in wings until you end your relationship.  The new guy is moving to Denver from New York to work at a start-up.  He’s listed his Tribeca loft for $10m but will keep his second home in the Hamptons.  The new guy is a clone of all the other men Bruce has dated – early sixties, tall, good looking and in-shape.  This new guy is closer in economic status to Bruce.

Last Friday, I met 72-year-old man at an art opening who is living on a $1,000 a month social security check.  He worked in bars and liquor stores his whole life.  He doesn’t have a 401k or a pension.  He never made enough money to have a decent nest egg.  He told me he goes to art openings because they are free entertainment, and he can take public transportation to get there.  He also likes the free alcoholic beverages and food which are often served.  He’s looking for a job to supplement his income but given his age his options are limited. I told him about other galleries accessible by public transportation he could add to his list. 

Clearly, Bruce and I are fishing in different ponds.

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The man talked just as much on the second date.  I listened.  Over dinner, without prompting, he told me voted for the Republican Presidential candidate in 2016.  I was taken aback by this.  I wanted to ask some follow up questions but he switched the topic causing the conversation to go in a different direction.  I never circled back to his voting.  The man has had an interesting life.  Sadly, he doesn’t know a lot about me.

A few days after the second date, the man told me we weren’t a match as there a too big of an economic disparity between us.  It was an interesting adventure.  On the bright side, I didn’t have to make a decision to stop dating a man because of who he voted for. 

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WM texted yesterday morning inquiring about my Thanksgiving.  He spent Thanksgiving by himself as his elderly parents are not allowing him in the house due to his public facing job.  His new boyfriend spent the holiday with his wife, who he has not yet divorced, and kids.  Within a few minutes of texting he used the adjectives hot and sexy in separate texts to describe me.  WM was flirting.  Undoubtedly, he was looking for intimate companionship.

About a week ago, I saw a new profile on Scruff with a picture of a man looking very much like WM.  I wasn’t sure it was him.  I didn’t message the guy.  I didn’t want to start another online conversation with a forty-something guy if the man wasn’t WM. I have several of those conversations that have been going on for months which show no signs of ending during this pandemic.

During our interaction, WM confirmed the profile was his.  He said he was about to take it down.  His last text was very suggestive.  I opted not to give WM what he wanted.

I didn’t ask WM about his relationship status.  I don’t care if he’s being monogamous.  It’s not my business if he’s not living up to his promise.  I don’t intend to restart activities with WM as I don’t want to be that man.  I don’t want to be the other man who helps facilitate an affair, which, will ultimately hurt another man.  I’d much rather spend time with him outside of the bedroom but I haven’t heard from him since our brunch a month ago.  It seems removing the WB from FWB doesn’t mean a friendship will be maintained. 

It’s now Sunday morning.  WM’s new profile is still active.  His hunt continues.

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A Monogamy Pledge

LA arrived yesterday for a long weekend since he will not be spending Thanksgiving with Bruce. Last Sunday, Bruce committed to be monogamous before deleting all of the hook up aps from his phone.  They have only been dating since Labor Day weekend.  Bruce is already talking marriage.  It’s a relationship on fast forward.

Seems a bit rushed to me. I hope they can make it work given the distance and previous behavior.  No more sexts from Bruce or invitations to drop trou.  Either way, it’s going to be an interesting ride. 

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Mr. Balmain

It seems like every time I’m online, a man whose main picture shows him sporting a skin tight Balmain t-shirt checks out my profile.  The t-shirt, which verges on being too small, shows off a well-muscled chest.  He also has an award-winning smile which could land him a toothpaste commercial.  He never messages me.  I don’t message him because one much younger man in my life is sufficient.  I’m also not a fan of designer names and logos on clothing.  My own name and initials are enough.  Also, I don’t need to know you spent $300 on a Balmain t-shirt.  I’m even less impressed if the t-shirt is counterfeit.

Speaking of younger men, Bruce texted me a picture of his latest acquisition a few days ago.  He had called me on his way to the Porsche dealership to negotiate a cash sale in the hopes of getting a better deal.  The LA guy now has a Macan to drive while he is here. 

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A Matchmaker & A Life Coach

A 42-year-old-single man messaged me on Scruff. I enjoyed a lively chat with him.  He’s a professional match maker, or so he said.  Seems rather odd that a matchmaker is single.  Makes me question his choice of occupation.  Another man, aged 43, who messaged me is a life coach who does handyman work on the side.  He’s an interesting man who looks like he would be a great cuddle buddy.  Thankfully, neither man pitched their professional services to me. 

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Added Benefits

WM sent a very suggestive text a few days ago.  I reminded WM that we moved into the friend column.  WM responded by telling me I have benefits.  I didn’t know I had benefits given the last conversation we had.  Although WM is fun to hang out with, I’m not sure I’m interested in those benefits.  It would be restarting where we left off with no changes on WM’s end.  I haven’t seen WM for two months.  I miss him at times but if nothing else has changed there’s no sense in going down that road again. 

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In the past week, I’ve received messages on Scruff from men who are 26, 32, 24, 22, 28, 42, 35 and 30.  Where are the guys in their fifties and sixties?  When I was in my twenties and thirties, I wasn’t interested in guys in their fifties or sixties.  Neither were any of my friends.  Did we miss out by not engaging with older men?  I wonder if these younger guys are being influenced by the abundance of daddy/son porn, or the increase in online images of hot older men.  Whatever the reason, I’ll continue to be flattered to receive messages from younger guys but I’d really like to chat with guys closer to my age. I don’t want or need another Bruce. One is enough.

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Mike invited me over on Sunday afternoon to hang out at one of the pools in his neighborhood. I blew off the gym and headed south. With Mike there’s always something he needs help with and Sunday was no different. Mike asked me to shave his back. Upstairs we go the master bath. Standing in the immense shower with clippers in hand I start to work. I couldn’t help wonder when Mike’s back go so hairy. I thought the clippers were going to lose their charge. I suggested he invest in laser hair removal.

Freshly shorn, we drive over to the pool. The crowd is mostly young families with children. We find chaises and settle in. There’s a handful of young DILFs to watch.

Mike and I have a good talk. He’s been single for a few months now. He tells me his last boyfriend unlocked his iPhone by holding the phone up to his face while he was taking a nap. The guy didn’t like what he found. The ensuring argument ended with a break up. Mike wouldn’t elaborate as to what the guy found. I’m guessing it was texts with another guy.

Exercise caution with your iPhone if you’re cheating on your partner. I wonder if the guy from the gym who blocked me has an iPhone.

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It’s Not Cheating….

The guy from the gym sent me a message letting me know he is still interested. I asked when his husband transitioned to a woman. He didn’t get it. I had to explain that he told me was in an open relationship with a man. I asked if the woman was his wife or girlfriend. She’s his live-in girlfriend. She doesn’t know he plays with guys. He told me it wasn’t cheating because it’s with a guy. I told him it wasn’t going to happen. To me, it is still cheating. He blocked me. End of story.

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