Archive for the ‘work’ Category

Mastering Skills

I’ve spent most of the last three weeks sharpening my skill set. I’ve mastered procrastination and the art of the afternoon nap. I’ve also been hitting the gym six days a week. I’ve barely touched my resume. I’ve only done research on two companies. I’ve read a few job postings but found a reason not to apply.

I’ve been working full-time since I was twenty. That’s almost forty years. My parents did not believe in allowances so I had a paper route and mowed lawns for spending money. Later, I worked at a Jack in the Box and was a busboy/dishwasher at a local steak house. My work career spans back to when I was eight.

I’m tired of working. I don’t want to look for a new job. I’m having a hard time finding motivation.

I’m thankful I have an emergency fund. I’m guessing that once I run through thirty or forty thousand dollars, I’ll find the motivation to seek new employment. Until then, I’ll probably try to master the art of sleeping in along with enjoying unemployment.

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Corporate Whore

I’ve come to the conclusion that headhunters are nothing more than corporate pimps, which, makes me nothing more than a corporate whore. Today, a pimp told me I was overpaid in my last gig. A gig that lasted eight years. I need to find a new pimp, or at least, a new client who appreciates my talents.

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After The Party

Sheila and Tom hosted a solstice party last night. It was a lively party. Tom was making Sazeracs. Bottles of cava were placed in ice buckets in strategic places in the house. I only had one glass of cava. I’m dragging today.

I want to take a nap but I have go get on a six-hour video call with my replacement. I’ve been on video calls every day this week teaching my replacement how to do this job. It’s very taxing to explain every aspect of a job while sharing a laptop screen with a person in another city. My replacement does not have any experience with any of systems and has no product knowledge. I feel like she’s been set up for failure. I wish her well and will do my best to teach her as much as possible. Then I get to find a new adventure.

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Holiday Hell

I’ve been in holiday hell since that swell party last weekend. Here are few updates.

Perry’s car was totaled on Monday by woman who ran a red light. She’s a little banged up but no serious injuries. Pain pills and white wine have taken the edge off. Her car was old and worthless so she’ll get next to nothing for a settlement. She has no money for a new car. I’m expecting her ex-husband to rescue her once again.

Paddy is in hospital. I don’t why. One of his assistants texted this morning with the news but she didn’t have any details. His phone goes directly to voice mail.

Double A is signing bonus checks for the employees at his place of employment. He declined to cut one for me as he prefers employment over jail.

Cindi is MIA. I’m sure she’s busy with holiday party décor.

Mack is enjoying employment at the architectural firm but is sick of the holiday shoppers at Crate & Barrel. I told him income is good. He’s working on a plan to pay back the money he borrowed while unemployed. Half the town is on the list.

I’m suffering from significant indifference. I’m training my replacement over multi-media video calls for hours each day. It’s really taxing. I finally found health insurance but most of my doctors are not on the new plan. I should be updating my résumé and talking to a head hunter but I’m just not in the mood. I’m hoping for a good dividend season so I can enjoy unemployment for a few months. All I want for Christmas is a big fat dividend check (I bet you thought that sentence would end with dick).

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New Year, New Job?

My contract is not being renewed. The contract expires on December 31st. I’m not surprised given the company has six billion dollars of debt. The private equity owners are desperately trying to sell off part of the company in order to meet a four billion dollar debt payment due in early 2017. There is also talk of a chapter eleven bankruptcy to hold off creditors and exchanging debt for equity. I’m not sure any of this will save this company which was loaded with debt by the PE owners in order to finance their purchase.

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Work Can Be Hell

It’s been a work week from hell. Here some of the issues I’ve had to deal with this week so far.

A software glitch prevented distributors in Kenya from ordering Interactive Voice Response products.

A product name was changed by not capitalizing a letter in the middle of the name. This caused many hours of changes to engineering documents and code. Tech companies love to come up with fucked up names that defy normal naming conventions.

A product deemed to be at end of life was resuscitated after a large stock was found in a warehouse. Why does this company have such a hard time keeping track of its inventory? Many hours of work were needed to update engineering specs and change code to enable distributors to resume selling the product.

Monday morning, I was informed via email of new global trade compliance rules for 2017. I didn’t have a clue what to do with these rules. Today, I found out support for the new rules is being outsourced to a third-party company that specializes in global trade compliance. Wonders never cease.

It was discovered that a product killed off two years could still be ordered. Oops.

Be thankful this company does not sell airplanes, rockets or self-driving cars.

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Challenging Every Day

My new job is challenging every day. I’ve been told it takes two years to fully learn the job. I’ve only been doing the job for six months. I still have a lot to learn. An email or instant message can send my day into a tailspin. It doesn’t help that I have to deal with instant video. It’s like a text but it’s a video call. It just pops up on the laptop as an active video call. Thankfully, it’s only being used on a trial basis by early adopters and has not been embraced by the general population of employees.

I’m responsible for three product lines: multi-media collaborative conferencing, interactive voice response which includes text to speech and speech to text, and call center reporting metrics. I support new product introduction, lifecycle changes and end of sale. The client does a monthly release of software for most product lines. I have to keep track of fifteen software loads, five for each product line.
At times, I’m completely overwhelmed. I’m very thankful to have a great mentor who realizes I’ve been thrown into the sea without a life preserver. I’m thankful for her guidance every day.

I’m gaining great experience and this position looks good on my resume. I’ve been contacted by three recruiters since I added the position to my resume on Linked In. I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m in demand given that I’m fifty-nine. Even though the job is challenging every day, I feel blessed and I’m thankful every day.

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